


Bittersweet Tastes

by laenavesse



Series: EusBea Seasonal Collection [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Humor, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kissing, Misunderstandings, Romance, Valentine's Day, some drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-19 13:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22711699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laenavesse/pseuds/laenavesse
Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Beatrix is determined to make chocolates that suit to Eustace's taste; but as the two wrestle with their feelings for the other, the chocolates prove to be not the only things that are bittersweet.
Relationships: Beatrix/Eustace (Granblue Fantasy)
Series: EusBea Seasonal Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633444
Comments: 16
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

“ _Ugh_ , how is this possible!?” a female voice cried out from the depths of the Grandcypher’s kitchens. “It’s still super sweet!!”

“I did exactly what you told me!” a second protested in exasperation before covering her face with her hands.

“Incorrect. You added a tablespoon of sugar along with the milk earlier,” a male voice suddenly interjected.

“Sugar?? _SUGAR!?_ You’re trying to make this less sweet, not more! And the chocolate bars already come with enough sugar, what—”

“…I may have also slipped in some honey…”

“ _BEA!!!!_ ”

In one corner of the kitchen, three people were gathered around a table next to an icebox used for refrigeration. Small chunks of chocolate, dollops of whip cream, and small smears of butter decorated its surface, and in its center was a small tray of six decadent dark chocolate truffles. Fresh from the icebox, they were already rolled and covered in various toppings ranging from hazelnut to rainbow sprinkles. From the outside, they looked absolutely perfect—perfect round balls with smooth surfaces and the toppings evenly coated around each one. Unfortunately, this was the sixth batch and while each one looked better than the last, the overly sweet taste had yet to see much improvement. The few remaining “failures” were piled in a small box off to the side.

Gripping the table’s edge, long, blond locks hung down past quivering shoulders as Zeta could only press her forehead against the aged wood. With slow, deep breaths she tried not to think of the countless hours they had already spent down there and calmed herself. Beatrix, the source of her frustration, stood off to the side staring in dismay at her failed attempts to make the perfect dark chocolate truffles, trying desperately to hold back the tears that stung the corner of her eyes.

As if ignorant to the two tortured women, a pale white hand reached out to pluck one of the newest creations. Slender fingertips turned the confection over a few times as pale, blue eyes studied the appearance before slowly bringing it to the owner’s lips. After a few thoughtful chews, the results of the examination were given.

"After some analysis, they are not as sweet as Zeta exclaims. There is a five percent decrease in sweetness from the last attempt, and a thirty percent overall improvement compared to the previous six batches. The powdered sugar topping only adds a zero-point-five percent increase and can be considered negligible. However, I see no problem with the taste and find it delicious.”

“Save it Cassius, your tastes are just as bad as hers,” Zeta drawled out before sighing and running a hand through her hair. “But I guess he’s right. It _is_ a little less sweet than the others, but this is still nothing like dark chocolate! You heard him, there was zero percent in bitterness!” She then looked over at the opened box on the floor, half of its contents already used. “Are you _sure_ you’re using the right bars?”

“Of course I’m sure!” Beatrix sighed as she picked up the box so that she could point out the label. “See, it says right here, Dark—” Her voice caught in her throat as her eyes widened and began to tremble at the words that followed.

“…Dark Honey Chocolate with fifty percent more sweetener,” Cassius finished for her, reading the text from the side of the box. He then looked at Zeta and his brows raised in slight alarm. “Beatrix, is Zeta sick? Her face is flushed and contorted in a strange grimace. There’s also a vein protruding from her forehead—”

“ _Take the box!_ ” was all Beatrix could shout before throwing the container filled with chocolate bars at Cassius. Stool legs clattered and scraped the floor as they were pushed away in her haste to escape, running away before Zeta yelled and lunged at her.

“ _Get back here!!”_

Seeing the normally collected blond spear wielder completely losing her patience was quite a strange sight for the moon native. The only times he had seen her filled with so much bloodlust was in battle, so he found it a little fascinating to witness such intensity towards a comrade instead of an enemy. Sensing that there was nothing he could do, he reached out and took another of the “failed” truffles to take another bite. Tasting the sweetness of chocolate and honey, his eyes lit up in satisfaction and he continued to consume the overly sweet confection.

Not paying any more attention to the two women now running through the kitchen, he continued to eat the truffles, a job that had fallen to him since he first wandered in to discover the two cooking. Wishing to learn how such delicacies were made, he initially watched in earnest and had been thoroughly enlightened, so now he just remained to consume the products. The box containing the earlier “failures” were already promised to him. He was also curious about the chocolate bars they had been using, so while ducking his head to avoid a stray, flying towel, he picked one out if the box, unwrapped it, and took a testing bite.

Hm…yes, he could taste the added sweetener. Rather than dark chocolate, it tasted closer to a creamy milk chocolate…

To the others working in the kitchen, either to prepare for meals or trying to make chocolates, they could only stare at the commotion before giving up and leaving their stations.

After about five minutes and polishing off the last truffle from this recent batch, he wiped his hands on a napkin and turned to see that Zeta had Beatrix pinned behind another counter. Facing each other from opposite sides, Beatrix would step one way and Zeta would immediately follow. With her back against a wall, Beatrix could only hope to make a mad dash to the side and escape before Zeta could reach her. Determining her chances were extremely low, Cassius finally spoke out.

“Is this ‘Valentine’s Day’ chocolate really worth such torment? Purchasing the desired flavor of chocolate would be more efficient and give the same result, would it not?”

“Of course you would say something like that,” Beatrix snapped as she chanced a glance past Zeta. “But this is—this is different!”

“He has a point, though,” Zeta said. Although she was breathing hard from the chase, now that she had Beatrix cornered, most of her temper had cooled a bit. “I didn’t mind helping since I thought it was interesting, but why are you trying so hard? It’s just Eustace, he never cares whenever he gets chocolates.”

“Be…because!” Beatrix stammered, her eyes shifting to the side momentarily as her fingers gripped the edge of the counter a little tighter. “I just want to see him make a different expression for once. Seeing his indifferent face all the time kind of pisses me off.” As if speaking her reasons filled her with courage, she straightened up and continued with a smug grin. “I want him to be stunned when he tastes it and actually say, ‘Oh, these aren’t bad.’ Then I can point at him and tell him, ‘See? I _can_ make non-sweet things!’”

“…So, it’s that, huh…” Zeta murmured with a wry grin. At first she thought her friend’s idea was rather simple (and stupid), but then she heard the inklings of truth. At some point Eustace must have finally tasted something Beatrix cooked and gave her his usual blunt review. However, she did not fully buy it. She could see the faint tint of red on the tips of the other woman’s ears, and it was not because of the energy they spent running.

“…Hm?” Cassius tilted his head as he ruminated over the reasons just spoken, also sensing something was amiss. “I thought this holiday was for people to express their sentiments of ‘love’ to one another. I don’t really understand this emotion, but from what I have managed to learn, it’s either ‘romantic’ or ‘platonic,’ and the chocolates are either a way to convey one’s true feelings or reaffirm that which already exists. Those aren’t the reasons for your chocolates?”

“Y…yeah, I guess so,” Beatrix mumbled after staring at the moondweller for several moments.

“I guess what they have is something more like a rivalry,” Zeta laughed, deciding to help her friend out a little to keep things interesting. “Except it’s completely one-sided. Eustace doesn’t care, but Bea always ‘competes’ with him because he’s so good at everything.”

“Even you get annoyed at how ‘Mr. Perfect’ and how much of a ‘Favored Golden Child’ he is at the organization, don’t you??” Just thinking of all the times she worked so hard to accomplish something only to later learn that the erune had done something similar so easily and received a higher rating grated on her nerves. It was not as if she did not acknowledge Eustace’s skill, but…there had to be a limit somewhere!

While Beatrix ground her teeth, Zeta looked at her with a helpless sigh and relaxed her stance, leaning back away from the counter with a hand on her hip. “I’ve told you so many times, don’t get hung up on that. You have your own strengths and things you’re good at, you know.”

“It’s still not enough. I’ll make him regret looking down on me!”

“…I really don’t think he does, Bea.”

With the chocolate bar mix-up _mostly_ forgotten, Zeta just sighed as the brunette walked back towards the table they were working at. Of course she still punched her in the arm as punishment for wasting so many hours and making her eat so many over sweetened chocolates before Cassius arrived. After finding the correct box of dark chocolates, they resumed the process. Zeta kept a _careful_ eye and removed any sugar, honey, or whatever else could possibly be used out of reach.

As they worked, Cassius remained in his seat and studied Beatrix as the conversation rolled through his mind. A rivalry that caused someone to pay so much attention to the other and work this hard on such a trivial thing? If she wanted to prove herself, should she not be training instead? It sounded as if her complaints were related to their work, not cooking. He was aware of Beatrix’s skills as well as her failings in the field, so he could not understand why she was so focused on making chocolates. That was the other thing that seemed incongruent with her reasoning. If her complaints really did rest in Eustace’s judgment on her cooking, could she not make something different? For instance, an actual meal that was not supposed to be sweet at all? Dark chocolate was bitter than normal chocolate, true, but it was still sweet to a degree. Further, even if it was to be some kind of sweet, why Valentine’s? Was this something that was recently said or sometime farther in the past?

No, the logic did not follow, and he could not fill in the missing pieces on his own.

Frowning, he looked over at Zeta with a questioning look, but when Zeta caught his glance, she just gave him a sly grin and held a finger up to her lips. At that moment, the blond was chopping up more hazelnut for the toppings later while Beatrix was stirring the ingredients in the bowl, everything melding together to form a rich, chocolate mixture. A slightly different aroma from before began to fill the air, a promising sign that they were on the right track. Confused by the gesture, Cassius looked back at Beatrix and was surprised to see a warm smile on her lips and a strange glimmer in her eyes. Rather than a heated look of joy at the prospect of exacting revenge, the expression she bore was…warm, gentle, and a little excited?

_…I still don’t understand, but perhaps there is some other purpose in her making these chocolates._

His curiosity piqued, Cassius remained to try and glean more from this strange behavior. He would later come to regret this decision.

* * *

Walking through the corridors to share a drink down at Raduga’s, Vaseraga turned his head as a few of the kitchen staff passed by, each one sighing and voicing their complaints about the kitchen being taken over because of the upcoming Valentine’s Day. Hearing that, the draph tilted his head slightly before murmuring, “Come to think of it, Zeta said something about helping Beatrix with making chocolates today.”

“Mm,” his silent companion hummed with his usual indifference.

“I wonder if they’ll be as sweet as the other years… I feel bad, but it’s hard for me to eat them.”

“…Hm.”

“And then there’s White Day to worry about…buying return gifts can be very troubling, especially for girls. I never know what to get them, and the stores can be intimidating.”

Instead of an answer, Vaseraga was met with silence. Not surprised, he glanced at the erune walking next to him and could only sigh.

“Eustace. You really don’t care about all this, do you?”

“…I just see no point in worrying about it,” Eustace finally sighed as he closed his eyes. “I don’t mind it, but I have to agree that I wish she didn’t give us so many…”

Vaseraga paused and looked down at him. “Hm? So many? From Beatrix?”

Hearing the confusion in the draph’s voice, Eustace stopped a step ahead of him and turned with a slight frown. “…Don’t you get a box filled with a bunch of chocolates?”

“No, usually it’s one big bar, sometimes two.” A low hum followed before he nodded his head. “She must make them different for everyone. I prefer the bars myself, it’s easier for me to eat.”

Given the size of Vaseraga’s hands, Eustace could understand that line of reasoning. “…Hm, I see.”

“Even so, I can only eat maybe a third before I have to put it away. I tried to eat more one year, but it ended with a terrible stomachache.” The draph grimaced at the memory, a hand reflexively going to the front of his stomach as if recalling the pain of that day. “What about you?”

Eustace is silent for a moment before he turned back forward and started walking again. “I eat them all.”

“What? Really?” Vaseraga caught up to the erune in half a step. “Do you actually like the taste?’

“No, it’s too sweet…but they’re easier to eat than cake.”

“Cake?” Again Vaseraga stopped in his tracks and stared at Eustace, his unbandaged eye bulging. “She baked you a cake?”

“Yeah. Birthday.”

“Birthday…” Unable to hide the amazement in his voice, his mind began to spin at this new information. Did Beatrix really bake him a cake? Was this the first time? Or had she done so before and they never heard about it? No—but—she usually complained about him? His mind still swimming, he tried to get back to the topic at hand. “Now that I think about it, it wasn’t that long ago. Were you with the others?” _Maybe with Gran’s group?_

“No, just the two of us.” Eustace’s eyes furrowed as he recalled the memory and sighed, either oblivious or ignoring the jaw dropping high above him. “It was small enough that I could eat it by myself, but it was like eating a slab of frosting made of honey and syrup...”

“…That bad, huh.” It took Vaseraga a few moments before he could respond, and more questions spun in his mind. However, he knew Eustace would not divulge much into his private affairs nor did he want to pry too deeply. This much was already plenty. “Did you eat all of it?”

“Mm,” a low hum as the erune stepped forward. He actually did not mind the questions as they were harmless and he thought nothing of it, but more people were coming through the corridor. While it was fine for him to be standing around, Vaseraga was more of an obstacle. However, the draph took it to mean that Eustace was ready to move on and simply followed.

“You don’t have to, you know. I’m sure she’d understand and would be fine with you just trying it.”

Again, Eustace answered with silence and from the deep-set frown, and Vaseraga assumed that would be the end of it. Even so, he felt rather pleased to have Eustace open up to him a little more. They had never talked about this before since there had been no need to, so hearing the answers surprised him. But what almost knocks the draph off his feet was the low murmur he almost did not catch, that hint of warmth and amusement almost lost along with that tiny upturned corner of his mouth.

“…I don’t really mind it, so it’s fine.”

* * *

The following morning was the start of the long-awaited “Valentine’s Day” and the Grandcypher reached port just as many were starting to wake and prepare for the day. Many were already exchanging their gifts to the friends already aboard the airship, and although he had risen early as was his usual routine, Eustace, too received a few friendship chocolates from passing members of the crew. Some were left in front of his door, others actually knocked to give him greetings. It was…strange to receive something from those not within the Society (and even those were a small handful), but he had grown a little more used to it. It had become something of a tradition to share with everyone, and it served as a reminder of the warm, peaceful life the Grandcypher held. It was especially pleasing whenever Lyria came by. He could not help but smile gently as the young girl ran up to him just as he was leaving his room, her white dress fluttering behind her.

“Eu…Eustace! I’m so glad I caught you!” she gasped as she hunched over, her hands clasped over her knees.

“You didn’t have to rush, I’ll be back later,” he said as he reached out to slowly rub her back.

But she just shook her head, long, light blue strands of hair flying before she straightened up, both fists clenched as she looked up at him with a determined fire in her sky-blue eyes. “It’s no good if I don’t get it done early! Ah, but you don’t have to eat them now, you can wait until you get back,” she hastily added before she reached into the satchel hanging from her shoulder to pull out his gift.

“…Then wouldn’t waiting be fine…?” he quietly murmured, not seeing much of a difference. But he waited patiently, unable to hide the small warmth in his eyes as he watched her. Seeing her with so much joy and spirit, he can only reaffirm his resolve in going against his initial orders and choosing to protect her and the others instead. Her childlike innocence…it was a reminder of why he was fighting.

“Let’s see… I know it’s… Aha!” With a gleeful smile and a bounce in her step, Lyria pulled out a small bag. The bag itself was clear plastic, but inside was a layer of tissue paper with a brown and white pawprint pattern set on a light pink background. Tying it at the top was a set of ribbons: pink, red, and white. “Here, Eustace. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Taking it with care, the erune smiled and nodded. “Mm, thanks.” He could not help but be a little amused at the pattern she had used, and he wondered what kind of chocolates she gave him this year. If he recalled correctly, last year was milk chocolates with flowers and hearts.

“Er, the chocolates didn’t mold very well so a few of them look a little…lumpy,” she said a little sheepishly, “but they still taste good! I had Katalina, Gran, and Vyrn taste test for me.”

“Oh?” He was initially going to wait, but now that she brought it up, curiosity took over and he undid the ribbon. Pulling apart the opening, he reached in and took out one of the chocolates, raising it to his face. Turning it this way and that, his brows furrowed as he tried to discern its shape. A muddy brown in color, it was mostly triangular with two—three?—points on one end and a flat bottom. The top had three curved mounds with a splotch of pink near the center.

Seeing him struggle, Lyria clasped her hands behind her back and said a small voice, “…They were supposed to be puppy faces.”

“Puppies?” Eustace blinked and squinted. He could sort of make out the ears…? Were those the small tips? Then the pink splotch…maybe the nose? Or mouth?

“Don’t worry about it!” the girl quickly waved her hands as she saw his expression deepen in concentration. “Like I said, a few turned out better, especially the pawprints! But since you like dogs, I thought you’d enjoy these than the usual hearts, eh heh…”

Even if he did not need it, hearing her reason made him lower the chocolate and smile a little in amusement. “It’s fine. I can tell you put a lot of effort into these. It’s probably better they don’t look like the real thing…I might have trouble eating them then.”

It was a small joke, but it was enough to make those bright, sky-blue eyes widen before small hands covered an even smaller mouth. The light giggle that escaped despite her best attempts filled the hallway, the sound light and soft like small bell chimes. “Ah, I didn’t think of that! But it still would have been okay, you know?”

“Mm, I know.” There was a hint of a laugh in his words before he took one last look at the piece in his hand before slowly putting in his mouth. After a few testing bites, he nodded with a soft light in his eyes. “It’s good.”

After seeing him preparing to eat the chocolate, Lyria could not help but stand and watch a little nervously, anticipating his answer. So when she saw that he really did like the chocolate, her chest loosened in relief before she clapped her hands together and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Yay, I’m glad! I’ll try and remember the recipe for next time.”

"You don’t have to work that hard,” Eustace said a little helplessly as he reached out to lightly pat the top of her head.

Smiling in delight, Lyria giggled. “It’s okay! It makes for good practice.”

“…All right.”

At that moment, Vyrn’s voice could be heard calling for the girl from somewhere above deck. After responding, Lyria turned to leave, but she stopped as if she remembered something and quickly stepped back up to Eustace.

“That’s right, I almost forgot! Eustace, Beatrix stayed up super late last night working on her Valentine’s, so be sure to thank her properly, okay?”

While he was not surprised to hear the woman had overdid it again, he _was_ surprised at the fierce look Lyria was giving him right now. “…Okay?”

“She…she worked really, _really_ hard on your chocolates, so don’t be mean!”

_Where was this coming from…?_ Eustace could only wonder in confusion. Was he ever mean to Beatrix? Okay, maybe he was a bit blunt at times, but for _Lyria_ to get on his case? Frowning a bit, he just gave a slight nod. “All right.”

The girl stared up at him, but that fierce expression was slowly fading to one of…worry? Confusion? Uncertainty? He could not read it at all, and he heard the words, “I wonder if we misunderstood…?” muttered under her breath, but Vyrn’s voice was getting louder and more impatient.

“…You should go,” Eustace finally managed to say as he stepped back so that he could put the chocolates in his room.

“Mm…okay. I’ll see you later, Eustace, and have a Happy Valentine’s Day!” Lyria took one last glance back before she trotted off towards where Vyrn was calling her.

As he stared at her retreating back, the erune could not help but frown, his brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of her words just now. Unable to come to any conclusion, he just shook his head and opened his door, stepping in to set the chocolates down on a table, separate from the small, untouched pile he had received so far. After rechecking his gear, he paused in front of the chocolates Lyria had given him, reached in to take one more piece, and left with a small, satisfied hum.

Up on the main deck, Eustace quietly observed the groups of people gathered outside. It was a warm, bright, sunny morning, the breeze cool and refreshing, so it was not surprising to see many taking advantage of it to celebrate the holiday. Whether the chocolates given were for friendship or romance, he paid no attention—it was none of his business, after all, and he had no interest in gossip. But even so, it was warming to see everyone relaxed and at peace.

While making one last check to ensure he had everything, he happened to pass by Cassius who seemed to also be watching everyone. In his hands was a dark blue box filled with an assortment of chocolate truffles, a gift Eustace assumed was given by someone from the crew, perhaps even Zeta or Beatrix. Given the color, he was reminded of the latter and assumed as much. Although he was a little wary of the moondweller, after observing him for so long and seeing his interactions with everyone, those suspicions have faded. Thus, while the two men barely interact, at least now Eustace can be cordial towards him instead of suspecting his every movement and intention. Normally they would pass each other and just exchange idle greetings before Eustace would continue on, but it was Cassius who stopped him.

“Has Beatrix seen you yet?”

Surprised by the question and remembering the words from Lyria, Eustace stopped to look at him. “Not yet. I’ve been told she was up late, so she’s likely sleeping in.” It would not be the first time, regardless of the reason. Either she was up with the birds or sleeping until the sun was high in the sky.

“I see,” Cassius nodded. “We were up late in the night doing various activities, so extended rest is logical.”

Eustace stared blankly at him as he tried to comprehend the words he just heard.

“…You were with her?” Until late at night? And what was this about _various activities_?

“She explicitly requested my presence to help tying knots, although I had to undo more than assemble.” Cassius then stopped and tilted his head as if recalling the details of that night. “This was after she finished making her chocolates, and her alcohol content was enough to make her inebriated and judgment questionable. I doubted her ability to return to her room safely, so I would have assisted her regardless.”

“…………………She was drunk?”

A nod. “She only consumed what I assumed was a small amount of alcohol, but it seems her tolerance is very low.” There was a small hum as he continued to recollect that night. “It was interesting to study her mannerisms. In the end all she did was fool around, and she has a strange fascination with hands, hair, and touching others.”

Hearing the recount made Eustace’s throat tighten, and a strange heavy weight settled into his stomach, making him feel uneasy and restless. His imagination was not the wildest out there, able to keep his thoughts rational and assume the most likely scenario. If what Cassius said was true and Beatrix had somehow gotten drunk, then the moondweller’s actions to escort her back to her room were reasonable. Whatever happened _after_ that… It was still unclear, but it had to be related to those chocolates. However, even if he knew that reality was probably as he suspects, his expression still darkened as tension ran through his body. The strange discomfort only worsened as Cassius continued to speak with his calm, mechanical indifference.

“Although she remained coherent and had maintained roughly seventy percent of her mental faculties, she consumed more of the chocolates and her condition worsened. Naturally, I tried to put her to bed with some mild success, but she refused to let me go and clung unto me instead.” Here he frowned. “Is it normal for drunk women to rub themselves against other people? I would have had to stay there until morning if it weren’t for—Eustace?”

Without a word, the erune suddenly turned and left, his footsteps heavy against the wooden planks and his expression hidden beneath the shadow of his bangs. Eustace knew it was nothing—it _had_ to be nothing—and that he had no reason for the inexplicable unease, discomfort, and irritation that swelled within him. He had dealt with drunk individuals in the past, including Beatrix herself, so he knew how troublesome she could be. The actions taken were not unreasonable and any other time he would just dismiss it without a second thought, just attributing it all to Beatrix’s silliness. Most of the time he left it to Zeta, but there had been more than one occasion where he had to carry the young woman and dump her on her bed before leaving for Zeta to deal with the rest.

So, none of this should be bothering him.

Yet it was not until he had stepped off the ramp and stopped at the end of the pier did he realize how tightly his fingers gripped over Flamek Thunder. How he had started recalling a more recent memory of when he had to deal with her drunken state and the strange, sudden feeling of loathing at the idea of someone else taking care of her. Only after slowly releasing the breath he did not realize he had been holding did he run a frustrated hand through his hair.

There was no reason for his chest to feel tight whenever he tried to imagine what happened or for his nails to dig into the thick leather of his gloves as his hands clenched into fists. There was no reason for him to have this sudden swell of mixed emotions, to suddenly feel irritated at remembering that box that had been in that moondweller’s hands. This restless, unforgiving, relentless churning in his heart—there was no reason for it to exist, no reason for him to feel so bothered about it.

Nothing.

No reason at all.

None of this had anything to do with him.

Cassius could only stare in confusion at Eustace’s retreating back, sensing the shift in atmosphere that had occurred. Although it had been a glimpse, he could see the storm of emotions brewing and he was puzzled at why the erune would suddenly be so angered. Even more bizarre, there had been a definite spike of bloodlust before Eustace left that was undoubtedly aimed at him. As he mulled over it, he heard the soft tap of heeled boots approaching and looked up to see Zeta wearing a sly grin as she, too, watched her fellow Society member leave.

“So, you told him everything, right?” she asked with a gleam in her eyes.

“More or less. I didn’t get to recount everything, but it was still accurate,” Cassius answered, but his frown remained. “Zeta, I don’t understand what just happened. Why didn’t you want me to tell him that you were also present at the time? Is this part of this ‘playing cupid’ plan you mentioned last night?” His frown deepened. “I still can’t comprehend how an obese infant with wings armed with a bow and arrow can be considered romantic. Being pierced by an arrow through the chest would be a fatal wound that ends in death, not inspire romantic infatuations towards another.”

“Remind me to give you more romance novels to read,” Zeta just laughed and patted his shoulder. “Honestly, I didn’t know if it would work, but…” Her lips curled into a smirk.

_Sorry Cassius, I might have put you in the line of fire, but this just got_ really _interesting. Bea better watch out_.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Oblivious to what had transpired hours earlier, Beatrix stirred when warm, bright rays of the sun streamed through her bedroom window and poured onto her face. Her vision bleary, she blinked several times into it, raising a hand to shield her eyes before letting out a yell after realizing how late it was—but it ended with a groan when a small, sharp pain throbbed in her forehead and her back ached. Turning over, she buried her face in the pillows, and it was only then did she notice she was on the floor and still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

“…Huh?” Sitting back up, she blinked and looked at the mess of paper, ribbon, and various wrappers strewn all around her. “Why…” _Last night…what happened last night?_

“Oh, you’re finally awake?”

At the voice, she let out a startled yelp and her hand slipped on some loose paper. Falling backwards, she could only groan again before she hastily pushed herself upright and looked up to see a certain blond’s face smiling down at her. She immediately threw a pillow.

“Ugh…Zeta…what are you doing here?”

Sitting on the edge of Beatrix’s bed, Zeta moved her head to the side to avoid the pillow and let it harmlessly hit the window behind her. She made no effort to help her friend as the other slowly stood up, instead remaining where she was. Head propped up against the back of one hand and legs swinging for heels to tap against the wooden bedframe, she just grinned. “I came back wondering if you were still asleep and I was not surprised to see you were. There’s some water and aspirin on the table, by the way.”

With a grumble of thanks, Beatrix took the few steps over to the table where the glass and tablets waited. After squeezing her eyes shut, she took the medicine and downed several gulps of water, almost draining it before she set it back down. “How long have you been here?”

“Mm, just a few minutes,” Zeta shrugged before she finally hopped off the bed to help clean up the mess. As Beatrix looked at her face in the wall-hanging mirror and groaned again, she grinned. “Just long enough to sneak in and open the curtains. If that didn’t wake you, I debated between dumping cold water or kicking you.”

Rubbing her brow, wincing a little at the persistent throbbing, she looked through the reflection at the other woman and scowled. “Is that really the way to treat your friends!?”

“It’s the _best_ way,” the blond said before she lightly smacked the back of Beatrix’s head with one of the pillows and tossed it onto the bed. “You don’t look too bad, but I’m surprised. I knew you were lightweight, but I didn’t think you’d get so drunk off of a few chocolates. Did you accidentally spike a batch? I kept them away from Cassius just in case, but I tried one and couldn’t taste anything past the honeyed sweetness.” She stuck out her tongue in disgust and shook her head at the memory before she started to pick up the items off the floor.

“I didn’t do anything weird, did I?” Beatrix glanced at Zeta nervously. The memories of the night before were still vague. She knew Cassius helped her back with Zeta and that she was trying to box up the chocolates, but she also remembered getting frustrated and starting to play with the ribbons and decorations instead. As more fragmented memories surfaced, she wanted to bury her head in the pillows that had by now returned to the bed. Actually, rolling up in bed and staying in there seemed like a great idea.

“Hmm…other than trying to make a headdress out of ribbons and paper? Just threw yourself on Cassius and whined at him.” Ignoring her friend’s paling face, Zeta tapped her chin in thought as she continued. “You complained a lot about how ‘men like him’ are stupid and warned him several times to not be like ‘that guy’ and be cold and aloof all the time. Then you started rubbing his head and wondered how soft they really are and yelled something about jumping hi—”

“ _GYAAAGH OKAY STOP ENOUGH AAAAHHHHHH!!!_ ”

Zeta grinned as Beatrix threw herself onto the bed and screamed into the sheets, her fists pounding into them. She gave the other woman a few minutes to let it all out before she started to feel a little sorry for her. She might have exaggerated a _few_ things just now, but it still carried the same meaning: there had been only one person who had been on her friend’s mind that night, and she and Cassius had to suffer through her drunken complaint-disguised pining.

Sitting down beside her, she rubbed a soothing hand over the small, trembling back. “It wasn’t _so_ bad. I think you just confused Cassius as he had no idea what you were talking about. If it helps, you also clung onto me for a while and sobbed into my chest.” While also complaining about “sizes,” but given the amount of damage she already dealt, she decided to keep that to herself. For now.

Only a groaning sob was returned, and Zeta could only sigh as she plucked a few stray leftover ribbons from the brunette hair before lightly stroking it. “Just apologize later, okay? Seriously, how much alcohol did you put in them…”

The silence stretched out for several long seconds before a small, muffled voice leaked out, “…I might have drunk a little from the bottle…”

At her words, Zeta’s hand stopped as her eyes widened and stared at the back of her head. “You did? Really? Why? You know you can’t handle a lot!”

“It—it was just a taste!” Beatrix protested before continuing, her voice filled with exasperated remorse. “Even though I’ve used alcohol in desserts before, I only followed the recipe and never really tasted the real thing. And I’ve had wine before and other drinks, but not bourbon or whisky so I was a little curious… I know they’re strong, but I thought just a few sips would be fine…”

Zeta stared up at the ceiling and drew out a long sigh. Seriously this girl. But then something about what she said caught her attention. “Hmmm…” With a hand against the bed, Zeta leaned forward to try and catch a glimpse of the hidden face, but she could only see the slight tint of red on those exposed ears. A smirk playing at her lips, she asked, “Hey, I was thinking about this at the time, but aren’t those the drinks that Eustace usually has?”

“I-Is it?” Beatrix managed to stammer, her voice oddly high as if trying to feign ignorance, before she finally pulled herself out and stood up to quickly move to her wardrobe to get a fresh change of clothes. She kept her back to Zeta, hiding her flushed face. “I just followed the recipe, so must be a coincidence.”

“ _Hmmmmmmmmm._ ” Zeta drew out the hum as she slowly stood up and stepped after the other, the smirk widening as those ears reddened more. “We’ve all been to bars together before, so you know what we usually order—and he always gets the exact same thing. There’s no way you wouldn’t know.”

“So!?” Unable to stop her voice from rising again, Beatrix spun on her heel to face Zeta, only to regret it when she saw that smug look on her face. Just as quickly she turned back to her wardrobe and picked out a random outfit, only to second guess and select another. “They’re common for chocolates, it really doesn’t mean anything!”

“If you say so,” the blond continued in a sing-song voice, stepping around to be beside her. Watching Beatrix once again reselect her outfit, she rolled her eyes and put her hands on the other’s shoulders, turning her around. “Just go ahead and take a bath already. I’ll pick out something for you so you can take your time—he’s not on board, anyway.”

“Eh?” Stumbling to keep her balance, Beatrix turned her head back to Zeta. “Not on board?”

“I saw him leave earlier this morning, probably to run some errands or just be away from the ship for a while.” She shrugged. “You know how he is and his ‘peace and quiet’ thing. Vaseraga thinks he won’t be back until later in the afternoon, closer to evening.”

“…Oh.” Her eyes turned downcast for a moment before she straightened. “Well, not that it matters. It’s not like I have to give it to him right away. Knowing him, he probably won’t care, anyway.” There was a small forced laugh. “Maybe I should just leave it in his room.”

“That’s an idea,” Zeta suddenly answered and grinned, and odd glint in her eyes. “You should wait for him in his room.”

“ _Haaah!?_ ” Upon hearing the ludicrous suggestion, Beatrix turned around to face her and resisted the urge to punch that smirk. “Are you insane!? He’d shoot me!”

“No, I think he wants to shoot someone else…”

“What?”

“Haha, nothing, nothing,” Zeta smiled as she hastily dismissed the small muttering from before, waving a hand. “But it’ll be a fun surprise, won’t it?”

“For _you_ , maybe,” Beatrix grumbled, ignoring the slight flush rising to her cheeks. “How would I even get inside? He probably locks it.”

“You know how to pick locks, don’t you?”

“That’s even worse!!” she wailed as she turned to really punch Zeta, but in the shoulder. “Now stop it, I’m taking a shower!”

“Yeah, you look like you could cool off.”

The loud slam of the bathroom door along with the strangled scream was the only response the blond woman received, but she was busy clutching her stomach in laughter to really notice. Zeta knew was being meaner than usual, but having grown up with Beatrix, she just could not help herself to have some fun. Besides, if her hunch was true, she wanted to support her as much as she could.

_Well, some might think I should stop it, and I thought about it, too, but…_ Her eyes drifted towards the still unfinished box resting on the side table next to a pale gold hair ribbon, the silver blue lace tails sparkling a little in the afternoon sunlight pouring through the window. As she turned towards the wardrobe to pick out some clothes, a soft smile formed as she remembered the night her friend showed it to her.

_“Zeta!!”_

_“Huh—wait, Bea! Watch where you’re—”_

_“Gyagh!”_

_“…Going… Sigh, you know you shouldn’t run with the roads wet with snow and ice like this. Are you okay? What happened? Weren’t you out Christmas shopping with the others? And why do you have so much snow on you…?”_

_“Ow…I’m fine… But…er, on second thought, nevermind.”_

Surprised by the sudden change, Zeta could only stare at how her friend wrung her hands and saw those cheeks flush. It seemed different from the kind induced from the usual adrenaline.

_“What? Hey, you can’t just run at me and then change your mind like that! …Huh? Wait, when did you get this ribbon? It’s cute.”_

_“Aaaah, it’s nothing! Nevermind! Don’t ask about it!!”_

_“…Hmmm? Did you buy it, or did someone give it to you?”_

_“Neither!”_

_“Eh? Did you steal it!?”_

_“No, of course not! I just…saw it and…since we were together it was… … …Nevermind, forget it!”_

_“We? Huh, who—!? For the love of—Bea!!”_

Zeta chuckled softly as the vision of her friend dashing off into the streets and almost slipping over the slick stones faded with the memory.

_After that, Bea ran away like she usually does, and I could only stand there and watch in confusion. I had no idea what was going on back then, but that was the first time I had seen her so happy about something outside of achieving something. It was like she was sparkling. And her face had been **so** red when she ran off, haha! We’re the same age, but I can’t help feeling more like an older sister when I see her act like that. I could never get a straight answer out of her, but Vyrn and Lyria later clued me in on what they saw that night. _

_I was so surprised; I couldn’t believe it. Even now it’s hard for me to think he would actually do that._

_That’s probably why I didn’t think too much about it then. It was weird, yeah, but not crazy. It was Christmas, after all. But maybe I should have looked into it, because now that I think about it, there might have been other times... So I wonder how long this has been really going on. Do they even realize it themselves?_ She sighed. _…Well, one of them might, but after today… Hopefully that little push will help._

_Oh well. Not much more I can do now except watch and hope things work out. Otherwise…_

_I’ll have to see how well Arvess can fry an erune._

As Zeta held up a few pieces of clothes, she grinned a little to herself, a fire simmering in her bright, teal eyes before a small laugh escaped her.

_But I think it’ll be fine, just maybe a little bittersweet at first._

* * *

Although the business he had to attend to in town had helped serve as a distraction, all the decorations, songs, chocolates, confession declarations, and couples would remind Eustace of his last “conversation” with Cassius. Immediately his expression would darken, his eyes reflecting the dark storm of emotions that still churned beneath. Always, _always_ he would tell himself that he was being illogical—and then he would grit his teeth at being reminded that that was a phrase that moondweller often stated and there was another strange swell of frustration.

Because of this, after pushing back a half-eaten lunch, his appetite never there to begin with, he ventured outside of town and into the surrounding forests. It was relatively safe, so he could venture further in before arriving at an isolated location. From there gunshots thundered through the trees, the occasional lightning bolt striking down. With each successive shot he would try to release his confusion and frustration until even Flamek Thunder started to feel strangely warm beneath his hands and the output in power suddenly increased. In a faster time than usual, it became fully charged. Staring at his weapon in slight surprise, he changed the setting to allow it to discharge safely. The stream of lightning bolts turning into nothing more than harmless static that crackled and buzzed through the air. Running his hand along the barrel as if in apology, steeled blue eyes stared at the string of bullet holes and charred marks of where his hits landed. Most of them were on point, but there were more stray ones than usual.

Clicking his tongue, he dropped down to the grass and flopped onto his back, the back of his gloved hand shielding his eyes from the late afternoon sun.

“What is this…”

It was not as if he never got angered or frustrated about something, but this time he could not shake it off or pinpoint the reasons _why_.

No.

That was partially incorrect.

He knew it had something to do with Beatrix, but he could not explain the strange discomfort and unease that arose whenever he thought about her being with Cassius. Honestly, aside from his initial reservations, he never had a problem with it before. They seemed to get along fairly well and were rather similar in some ways. Furthermore, his recent observations over the moondweller had been more positive, and Eustace felt a little more content in seeing the growing sense of harmony between everyone. He wanted to protect that, yet…

Now whenever he imagines Cassius standing next to Beatrix, those thoughts vanish and that wall of distrust reforms.

“…Is that what it is?” he murmured to himself as he moved his hand away to stare up at the slowly passing clouds. “Do I not trust him? …But that doesn’t make any sense.”

Even if he still maintained some guard around him, Eustace could not deny that even he felt some trust between them. He even trusted that nothing happened between the two—even Eustace could tell that Cassius had little sense for that.

“Then what is it? Why is this bothering me?”

“What is bothering you?”

The sudden voice made the erune bolt upright and roll onto his feet, his weapon already raised and trained at the face of the speaker. Although his breathing was controlled, his heart hammered in his ears as he stared up the barrel at the pale blue eyes that only narrowed and frowned at him.

“…Cassius.” For a brief, irrational moment, he was not sure if he was more pissed at the man standing calmly before him or the fact that he had been so distracted he never noticed the other’s approach. Slowly he lowered his weapon and closed his eyes, mentally trying to shake off the emotions before he rose to his feet. “What are you doing here?”

“We heard gunshots and could see the lightning bolts from the deck, so we decided to come and check on the situation in case you were fighting and needed assistance,” the moondweller simply stated before his eyes cast around the bullet riddled, charred trees. Seeing some of the discord in the holes, his brows raised briefly in surprise. “It seems our concerns were unnecessary.”

“…We? Who else came with you?”

“Vaseraga—but he was stopped in town by a female draph.” Cassius tilted his head as he recalled the meeting. “Her name was Almeida, a weaponsmith. Vaseraga seemed to know her. I suspected she wished to give him a Valentine and got permission to leave.”

“…Ah,” was all Eustace replied as he vaguely recalled the girls fussing about something that sounded similar. _It was during the situation with Grynoth, wasn’t it…?_

With his peace and quiet interrupted—rather, did he even have it to begin with it?—Eustace saw no need to prolong his stay. Holstering the seal weapon, he turned on his heel to leave, but Cassius’s stiff, quiet voice stopped him.

“The thing that’s bothering you—is that the cause for all these erroneous marks?” When met with stony silence, Cassius stepped up to the trees to observe the damage more fully. “Your margin of error is usually within less than a half percent. These exceed two or three. Fascinating.”

“What is?” the erune could not help but growl as he listened to Cassius’s idle observations. For some reason, hearing it from the moondweller’s mouth sparked the agitation he had only just managed to repress.

“Your behavior.” Cassius turned to look at Eustace, pale blue eyes flicking up and down as if studying the erune’s posture and stance. “Normally you are able to maintain your calm resolve, even when in the thick of battle. Unlike the others, you don’t let your emotions sway your actions, but here you are unrestrained. There is little of your usual control. I find it fascinating to see such a marked difference and can’t help but wonder what changed.”

At first Eustace stood stunned after hearing the other man’s words. It was not the observation of how his emotions affected his judgment that was surprising—he could easily recognize that. But it was the matter of _how_ strongly he had been affected by it, and _why_. Or rather, _who_ caused the trigger.

As for who that was, although not wholly unrelated, it was not the man who was standing before him now. Even if he did want to place the blame on the moondweller, he knew it was not correct.

His expression cooling, he turned his back to Cassius and proceeded to walk towards the path that led back to town. “Let’s find Vaseraga.”

The sudden change in topic left Cassius puzzled, but he followed behind. “Wouldn’t it be more prudent to leave them alone?”

Eustace arched a brow in response. “So even you understand that much.”

“I received numerous books from Zeta in an effort to expand my understanding of ‘courtship.’”

At those words, Eustace suddenly stopped and turned to face him, his eyes narrowing into a cold glare. This should not matter to him, but something seized him to make him suddenly feel anxious. Words rose to the tip of his tongue, but he managed to swallow them and instead asked a simple question.

“Why?”

Finding a similarity in the erune’s demeanor as to the one earlier that day, Cassius stared at him and coolly answered, “The concept of romance does not exist on the Moon. We pair and mate as is most beneficial for the populace, the partners formed by comparing the best traits to be inherited.”

Eustace’s expression turned into one of confusion as he tried to process such a thing. “A selective system?” The idea sounds…too inhumane. Mechanical.

“Correct,” Cassius nodded before he continued. “That is why I find human relationships and this particular holiday interesting. Having no reference on the Moon, I wish to further understand and compare to see which process is more efficient.”

“…It has nothing to do with efficiency,” Eustace breathed as he resumed his walk, that dark ball of anxiety unwinding. He felt a bit foolish for even thinking such strange things.

“It would appear so. I have yet to understand how jealousy and obsessive behavior towards another individual can be conducive in a relationship. It seems more destructive than productive.”

“…People can be selfish creatures.”

“Mm, to excessive levels. Even you have exhibited such behavior.”

For the second time in their conversation, Eustace stopped in his tracks and turned to stare at him, his eyes narrowing into a frosty, hard glare.

Stopping alongside him, Cassius once again stared at him with his usual cool, indifference. “This morning your behavior had been strange, and I couldn’t understand it at the time. However, after being informed by Zeta and confirming with the books, I can conclude with confidence you exhibited behaviors that conformed with jealousy and possessiveness.”

“Over what?”

“Beatrix.”

* * *

By the time Beatrix found herself standing in front of Eustace’s bedroom door, the sun had begun to set and many of the usual Grandcypher residents were out in town. She was grateful for the lack of people, as she would no doubt run away if anyone caught her like this. Although her ensemble was not strange for her style and tastes, it was still chosen after a lot of deliberation and with more care and fuss than she would like to admit.

“This is ridiculous…”

Tugging at the hem of her deep blue ruffled skirt, the thin white under layer brushed against her bare thighs, making her shift her weight from one leg to the other. She usually wore shorter shorts than this, but somehow, she felt more vulnerable, as if she was exposing herself somehow. Looped around her waist just above her hips was a thin, burgundy belt of braided rope, and attached to the back was a translucent cape made of thin, white chiffon. It fluttered behind her like a veil as she turned on her heels to start pacing back and forth in front of the door, the sound of the knee-high boots tapping lightly against the wood echoing softly in the empty corridor. No need for armor plating, they were made of soft leather, the laces drawn all the way up to where the top folded over to reveal the soft cream lining beneath.

“It’s just giving a box of chocolates, there’s no need to make such a big fuss, right?”

A hand rubbing against her arm, the rust orange button-up blouse felt thin and the way the hem was tied to the side just above her navel was strange and made her fidget. Again, she exposed much more of her midriff in battle, yet like with the skirt, she felt self-conscious and several times her fingers plucked at the knot, threatening to undo it. The only extra cover she had to protect herself from the cooling air was a dark brown suede short jacket that cut above her midriff just beneath her chest, the thin long sleeves hugging her arms and ending with a white cream lace, the ruffled trim lightly tickling her wrist. In short, it was more decorative than functional, but the idea was that she would not be outside for too long.

“I can’t believe I let them drag me into this…”

Yet it was not the late afternoon air that caused her to shiver, but the thought of Eustace finding her pacing in front of his door. She would have just dropped the box of chocolates off and run off to hide in her room, but Zeta tagged along and Vyrn and Lyria had caught her on her way over. After Zeta informed them of her destination, their eyes gleamed and flew off to fetch Gran. With his “help,” Beatrix’s heart sank to her stomach as he unlocked the door with a master key. She really wanted to grab a mop and wipe off _all_ of those smug grins and excited looks off their faces. Hearing Lyria’s wishing her luck with such pure innocence and obvious misunderstandings only made her want to crawl into a hole in embarrassment. 

“Really, I could just leave it right here in front of his door…!” Mumbling her grievances, she clutched the box close to her chest before she panicked and released her hold in fear of crushing it. Even with Zeta’s help (or perhaps because of her presence), it had taken her hours to finish choosing and wrapping the box of chocolates.

But it was true she could still go through with her original plan. The small tag along group had left her, and while she suspected they were hiding somewhere to watch, they would not be able to stop her if she dropped the box and bolted. She was confident in her running skills. Yet here she was still pacing, the idea somehow hooked into her mind as if she actually really wanted to…

“Aaah, jeez!” she softly cried as she stopped and reached up to touch her hair, a habit she did out of frustration. It was done up in the usual ponytail, but it was set a little higher and Zeta had partially braided it, even giving the ends a little more defined curl—all while the brunette protested, of course. Why did she have to get dressed up like this!? But when her fingertips brushed against the hair ribbon tying it all together, her hand faltered and her teeth sucked in her lower lip, lightly biting it as she felt a strange warmth fill her chest and even stranger thoughts popped into her mind.

What would he think if he saw her like this? Would he notice anything different? Or would he just stay silent and not say a word? Would he… _Would_ _he like it?_

Her stomach twisting in newfound agitation and embarrassment, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, turned to face the door, and let out a long exhale. “Okay, I’ll just drop this inside, wait for five minutes, and then leave. Then Zeta can’t complain, right? It’s not like we know when he’ll be back and staying in there any longer would just be way too creepy.”

After a small smack to her cheeks, her hand slowly reached out to the doorknob, fingers trembling and immediately withdrawing upon feeling the cool metal. But after another sharp intake of breath and closing her eyes once more, she grasped the knob, turned it, and forced open the door. Only once inside and hearing the door close behind her did she allow herself to open her eyes and try to calm her racing heart. It was pounding so loudly, not only could she not hear herself think, but she was sure it would burst out of her chest.

_It’s just his room…and it’s not like these rooms are really_ ours _, we’re just borrowing it so really, it’s just a shared room between passengers—like an inn! There’s no need to be so nervous, Bea!_

With such random thoughts slipping through her mind in a desperate effort to calm herself, she took one slow step after another and took a few glances around. Her logic was not wrong—they really were just borrowing whatever spare rooms were available at the time. But it was also true that the rooms they ended up staying in were usually the same. The Grandcypher was large enough to hold so many crew members at once, it really would not be surprising if Gran tried to keep a room for each person.

So even here she could see traces of…well, no, she could not see much of anything in here. As the late afternoon sun spilled into the room and cast a bit of color in the otherwise bare space, there was nary a hint that anyone even lived there. The bed near the back wall was neatly made, there were no small trinkets lining the walls or shelves, no clothes hanging out. For a moment she thought they had picked the wrong one and it really _was_ just an empty room.

But in the corner was a table and a chair. A quick glance revealed the small pile of chocolates, and while she was curious, something else glistened in the light and caught her eye. Hanging on the chair was the large, heavy leather bag Eustace used for travel, and on the seat rested the smaller satchel that had his tools to maintain his weapons. Stepping closer, her eyes momentarily glanced at the chocolates before that little glint distracted her again. It was coming from the bigger bag, and since it was in the direct path of the sunlight, the light poured onto some of its exposed contents. The main flap was pushed off just enough to reveal a bit inside, and unable to help her curiosity, she pushed it open just a little more. The scent of gunpowder, leather, and oil wafted through the opening, and inside were various books and papers. But what really caught her eye was the little trinket hanging just inside by a side pocket. Hooked around a small ring was a metal charm in the shape of a dog, three colored beads dangling from the bottom. Gold, white, and light blue. Tied along with the ring was a thin, dark blue ribbon. It was the simplest, most basic thing, but as she reached in to lightly tap it, her lips curled into a soft smile.

“He still has it…”

She continued to smile, certain memories of a snow filled night flashing through her mind.

_“Here, this totally suits you._ ”

_“…What is it?”_

_“A keychain, dummy, but it’s also like a charm. They said it’s good for luck and protection.”_

_“You know that’s all fake, right?”_

_“Ugh, can’t you just loosen up for once!?”_

_“…Thanks.”_

She laughed a little as she tapped the charm again, the sound of the beads clattering against the beaded chain soft like bells.

“…I really can’t believe he still has this… I thought for sure he’d toss it in a drawer or something…”

_He can be so_ impossible _…but he was kind of cute, huh? He looked so surprised when I gave it to him… It was a pretty cheap present compared to…_ Her cheeks flushed a bit and her hand idly touched the lace of the ribbon in her hair. _But that’s not my fault, I didn’t think he’d actually get me something in return!_ She covered her hands as the memory continued.

He had just tucked the charm in his pocket, and they walked together through the open market stalls. There were so many items for sale, it was like a bazaar, and as usual she was the one who did most of the talking while he just followed along in his usual silence. When she stopped at one that sold accessories, she could not help but look with some interest at the hair ribbons. She had been thinking of getting a new one and just wanted to see what they had to offer before moving on. But apparently she had stood there for too long or something, because before she knew it—

_“Do you want it?”_

_“…Huh!?”_

_“You’ve been staring at them for a while.”_

_“Wha—w-well, kind of? I was just thinking I wanted something different—”_

_“Pick one.”_

_“Pi—what!? …Okay you don’t have to glare at me like that! Um… Er… This is hard to do on the spot with you staring at me like this!”_

She had thought she was glaring at him, but she swore she saw something like an amused smile flicker on his lips before he turned away to inspect the selection and reached out to pick one out for her.

_“Here, this one.”_

_“E-Eh…??”_

_“It suits you.”_

She had been unable to say anything or keep a straight face, only numbly following after with the small bag in her hands.

Beatrix was still trying to stop her heart from pounding and for her face to cool when she suddenly heard voices outside in the hall. She had closed the door after she entered, but she still panicked and instinctively dove onto the floor, her foot hitting the chair enough for it to knock into the table and shift the contents slightly. Paying no attention to the small clatter, she crawled into the small space between the bed frame and the wall, and even considered hiding underneath. If the frame was not so low to the ground, she really might have. After the voices passed, she released the breath she had been holding and slowly got to her feet. She had to pull herself up while holding onto the bed, her legs still weak and trembling from the shock. Once she was able to stand, she took a calming breath.

“Right, I only came here to leave the chocolates. I’ll just… Leave it on the bed? Or maybe on the table with the rest…?”

Turning her head towards the table, she finally took some time to look at the amount already there. The neat pile had moved a little but had mostly maintained its original shape. It was not a mountain, but it was also not just a mere handful.

“…Whoa, he’s gotten that many already? I mean I know he gets a few every year, but…”

Pursing her lips, she could not help but look over the assortment of small bags and boxes. Many were clearly store bought, but some looked as if they were handmade. Regardless, they were all just set in a (mostly) neat, untouched pile. _He must be waiting to eat them later…_ _I wonder if they’re all friendship chocolates or… Confession!?_ Just imagining it made her face flush and a heavy weight sink into the pit of her stomach, but she quickly shook her head. _No, no, I recognize some of these from the other girls… And that one is definitely Ladiva. A little questionable, but the rest are definitely friendship. Besides, even…even if he did receive one, he’d reject it. That man has no sense of romance in his body! Definitely! No one said he left with anyone, either, so no, definitely not. None of these look that special, anyway… …_

Her thoughts drifted when her gaze moved over to a smaller bag. It had been a hidden by one of the fallen boxes, but it had clearly been set to the side of the pile. Unlike the others, the design was cute and clearly tailored towards the dog loving erune. Already opened, she could peer inside and see the assortment of chocolates, and while it was hard to make the shapes out with the dimming light, she could see a few pawprint and bone shapes.

It was cute.

_Really cute…_

Small flakes of chocolate lay just outside of the bag, indicating he had stopped to eat at least one of them, maybe more. For whatever reason, he had left the others untouched but decided to go ahead and eat these. This bag of chocolate that had been made with such great thought and care towards him. Made special and one of a kind, just for him.

_The person who gave them…she must be…_

As she stood there staring down at the bag, the shadows cast in the room grew larger as the sun continued to set. By the time she heard a soft crinkle beneath her hands and looked down at the now slightly bent and squished box, darkness had almost completely enveloped her and only a small ray of light cast through the window, passing right over the bag.

“…Ah…” Her eyes widened when she realized the damage done, her body turning rigid as a thin ringing grew louder in her ears. “Ah…dammit…I…”

As if starting from a standstill, her heart raced wildly in her aching chest. No matter how many times she swallowed, her breath caught in her throat, making it difficult for her to breathe.

_No, I—it doesn’t matter! So what if he clearly liked those, I don’t know who they’re from—I’m just overthinking it! And mine were always…we were always just… He wouldn’t have cared, anyway, that’s what I always said, isn’t it?? They’re just chocolates! They could have been from anyone, it doesn’t matter what he thinks…! It’s not like I wanted to be treated differently so it really…it really doesn’t matter!_

She knew what she was thinking and feeling made no sense, that she was probably making a big deal out of nothing. She knew that any other time she would have been curious and would want to pester him for answers. To have the rare opportunity to tease and make fun of him. Yet the very idea only suffocated her instead, her heart feeling as if it were squeezed by a vice.

“So…why…”

Just as those words choked out of her lips, drowning out the sound of something small splashing against cardboard, there was a _click_ at the door. It was so loud and sudden she jumped, her hand bumping against the table and knocking over a few of the chocolates including the bag. Fortunately, she caught it in time before they spilled onto the floor, but it was at that moment that the door opened, and a man stepped through. For several long seconds they stared at each other, one wide-eyed and paralyzed in fear, the other staring with furrowed brows, his hand still on the door.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

By the time Eustace made his slow way back towards the Grandcypher, the sun was at his back and the brisk winds blew a little harsher against his hair. But he paid little mind to it—his thoughts were still heavy with the conversation he had earlier with Cassius.

_“Beatrix?”_

_“Yes. For whatever reason, you seemed bothered when I talked about her earlier, to the point I could actually sense bloodlust coming from you. I can only assume that you were either being extremely overprotective or jealous.”_

Eustace closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against his brow, his footsteps heavy over the cobbled streets. He only vaguely registered how the other pedestrians gave him wide berth as he walked.

_“That’s ridiculous.”_

_“Agreed. I have no interest whatsoever, so your fears are unfounded.”_

When they returned to town, Vaseraga was nowhere to be found, so Eustace had no choice but to bring the moondweller back to the Grandcypher, an idea that he for some reason loathed. He had no idea where Zeta was and the idea of finding Beatrix to babysit him left a strong distaste in his mouth, so he would be left to watch him himself. Given his current mood, that was the second to last thing he wanted. However, they ran into Gran and the others, and since Cassius wished to “continue studying romantic relationships” and Gran could be trusted, Eustace gave him permission to remain in town. Thus, he was alone when he boarded the airship, and the deck was bare of any of its usual residents.

_…Jealous? Had I really been jealous?_

This question repeated through his mind along with the questions of _why_ and _how_. At least he knew the answer to _who_ , but that did not help the strange turmoil that was forming within his troubled heart. After all, the idea of romance was far, _far_ from his mind. Not only did he have his own personal goals, but their line of work did not lend well to develop such relationships, nevermind the troubles brewing within the Society organization. That did not prevent any couples from forming, of course, but he had seen far too many broken hearts over lives lost from failed missions and hard battles.

Yet as he stood by the railing and stared at the rising moon, a certain memory from not long ago surfaced to his mind.

It was almost Christmas, and it had been decided Gran and the crew would travel to an island known for its holiday celebrations. Since the Society group were finished with their missions and received some rare holiday time, they decided to join in for a bit. The snow fell heavily on the island and many complained about the cold.

_But I didn’t mind it. Walking through the small village… It reminded me of my childhood home._

Everyone grouped off to do their shopping, but he went off on his own as usual. So it was only by chance that he ran into her. He had thought she was with Zeta or Gran, but she was alone staring at some trinkets at a merchant stall. He could have just passed her, but instead he found himself watching her for several moments before he finally called out to her as he approached from behind.

_“Beatrix.”_

_“Gyeah, Eustace! Dammit, you really need to stop sneaking up on me like that!”_

_“…You should be more aware of your surroundings.”_

Closing his eyes, Eustace tilted his head back a bit to relish in the cool air as he thought back on that moment. _I could have just walked past her, but I decided to stay with her instead._ Perhaps it was because he could see how she was shivering, the jacket she had been wearing clearly not enough. He did not even think twice when he took off his cloak and draped it over her shoulders.

_“…Huh? Wait—”_

_“It’s fine. It would be worse if you caught a cold.”_

_“Well then what about you!?”_

_“I’m used to it.”_

_“Ugh, of course. With that cold attitude of yours, you would be impervious to it, too.”_

Unknowingly, a small smile flickered across his lips. _It’s something I’ve heard her grumble often, so I ignored it. But I still noticed how she drew my cloak closer and the small smile before she turned her face away._

_“But…thanks.”_

_“…Mm.”_

Even though she had averted her face, he could see the tips of her ears redden and at the time he thought it was due to the cold. After that he just walked with her to visit the stalls, and somehow, they bought each other Christmas gifts. In the end they spent quite a lot of time together just enjoying the festivities. A small smile quirked at his lips as he remembered how she tried to pick a snowball fight with him.

_“HAH!_ _Bet you didn’t see that co—bleughah!?”_

As she coughed at the snow that had smashed into her face, he had only said, _“Never let your guard down even after striking your enemy.”_

Needless to say, he came out the victor. It had been an unplanned, random affair, but he could not say he disliked it. When they eventually parted, there had been a strange warmth in his chest at the time, a feeling he could not really describe or understand. At first he thought it was just part of the atmosphere, of being able to participate in such a trivial yet peaceful part of life. Yet it was the same feeling that was starting to bud now, and now he knew that it was more than that. He stared up into the darkening skies lost in thought.

_…Since when?_

_Since when did I not mind watching or being with her…?_

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard some laughter nearby. People were leaving the airship to have their dinner in town, some likely going to the local tavern to have a drink if they were not going down to Raduga’s. Thinking he could use one himself, even half-considering taking up Ladiva’s insistent offers of counsel, Eustace pushed away from the railing to make his way to his room to drop off his things. By now most of the deck had emptied out again and the corridors emptier, the soft sconces hanging on the walls already lit. Rubbing a tired hand over his eyes, he pulled out his keys to unlock his door, only to find it already unlocked.

Suspicious, he wondered if he somehow forgotten due to the distraction from Lyria earlier and slowly turned the knob before opening the door. When he looked up and saw a figure standing in his room, he tensed and almost reached for his gun before his well-trained eyes focused to the dim lighting. Only a sliver of the evening sun cast through the window, illuminating part of their figure and face, but even without it he could easily make out the person’s form.

“…Beatrix? What are you—”

“ _I’m sorry!_ ” Beatrix shouted as she hastily set the bag down and rushed toward him. “Just—just forget it!”

Bewildered, Eustace was forced to step back, his back pinned against the door as she shoved something against his chest and sprinted out of the room. Stunned, he could only stare after her before he realized what it was he had in his hands. Although a little bent, it was a pale yellow box tied with four colored ribbons—silver blue, dark gold, reddish brown, and dark blue. But what struck him the most and really made his heart twist in a strange, indiscernible way was the small wet stains on the box’s surface.

“Beatrix!” he shouted before swearing under his breath for his delay and ran after her, his heavy boots thundering over the wood.

* * *

“Idiot, idiot, _idiot, **idiot**_!!!”

Beatrix continued to shout at herself as she continued to race out onto the main deck, her tears blurring her vision. She had to be misunderstanding something, a small part of her was trying to tell her. But only doubts and a feeling of hurt overwhelmed her instead, preventing any kind of rational thought from passing through. Blinded by these emotions, she paid little heed to anyone she ran into, only mumbling unclear apologies as she continued her mad dash. She needed to get off the airship, she needed to—

“ _Beatrix!_ ”

Hearing _his_ voice call after her made her stumble, forcing her to reach out to grab the railing. A quick glance showed him stopped far enough way for him to not readily see her, but then he turned to look in her direction and her heart froze.

“Just—stay away!!” she instinctively shouted before she pulled herself onto the railing.

“Beatrix, stop—!!” his shout fell on deaf ears as she pushed off and jumped down onto the pier below, surprising the workers who were there. With another swear he stormed after, using only one hand to vault over the railing and land on the pier not far behind her.

Later on in the taverns, the dock workmen would regale the terrifying sight of a couple chasing after each other and wonder how it ended. But at the present, Eustace continued his chase after Beatrix. She was fast, but he was, too, and he was used to chasing after her. Even when she slipped through the crowds and he lost sight of her, he continued onward without any hesitation, instinctively choosing which streets and alleys to go through. Every now and then he would catch a flash of her cape or the ends of her ponytail; his ears would hear the sound of her heels clacking against the cobblestone or become muffled when going through dirt; and although faint, the familiar floral scent with hint of fruit would linger in the air. Like a wolf he followed this trail until he was led to the forests outside of the bustling town and he could see the figure he had been chasing running straight into the trees.

Gritting his teeth and taking only a moment to catch his breath, he resumed the chase, but this time he listened not for her footsteps but other creatures that could be lurking. The sun had completely set and only the half moon provided any light. Of all the places and times she could run out here—and without her weapon. Even if it should be relatively safe, one could never be too careful. New worries rising to the back of his mind, he hastened his steps until—

“ _Aaaah!_ ”

Hearing the high pitch scream chilled his heart, but his feet moved as if struck by lightning. Within moments he skidded around the bend where he had last seen her, Flamek Thunder already out and aimed at whatever could have caused her to shout. But instead of seeing some monster, all he found in his sights was old cobwebs and moss hanging from a grove of trees, some of which had caught in Beatrix’s hair. Feeling his strength leaving him in relief, he lowered his gun and holstered it before stepping towards her. He barely noticed how his fingers trembled over the clasp.

Noticing his approach, Beatrix stiffened and tried to run away again, only to grimace in pain as her hair caught in the low hanging branches. Realizing this, she turned her back to him instead.

“Ugh, this is all your fault! Why did you have to chase after me!?”

“Why did you have to run away?”

She stiffened at his cold voice, and her hands gripped her arms as she crossed them over her chest. She heard the sound of leather shifting about as if being removed before feeling warm, long slender fingers pushing and prodding through her hair. Shutting her eyes as heat rose up her neck and cheeks, she continued to shout angrily.

“I told you to forget it, okay! It was stupid—everything was stupid, I was stupid! There you don’t even have to say it, I know!”

“You were stupid.”

“ _I told you, you didn’t have to say it!!_ ”

The fingers working out her hair paused before they resumed, and she had to swallow back the strange feeling that started to rise. When his fingertips brushed against her scalp, she could feel skin and occasional soft scrape of his nails. Each movement was slow, methodical, yet also gentle, almost delicate. If it were not for the occasional slight tug and pull of hairs being pulled away, she might not have noticed. She was so distracted by the strange, unfamiliar touch that when he finally spoke, she jumped at hearing his voice so low yet loud near her ears.

“Why were you in my room?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Then why did you run away?”

“Do we have to talk about this right now?”

“You’ll run if I don’t ask now.”

“I could just not answer.”

“Then I’ll stop and leave you.”

Hearing that, she turned her head to angrily yell at him for being so cold and callous and everything about him that infuriated her. But seeing his face so close to hers and catching that intense glare in his eyes only made her cheeks flush, her body trembling as she whipped back around. _Dammit dammit **dammit** —!_

Eustace stared at the back of her head with a steady gaze, but there was a strange cloud of discontent and irritation in his eyes before he resumed clearing her hair of the cobwebs and disentangling it from the branches, a heavy silence falling over them. Despite how he was feeling, he was careful, his touch gentle but deliberate as he pulled each strand away. It was a bit unfortunate that her hair was now mostly undone—now able to look at it up close, he could see that it had been braided and styled in a way that was different than usual.

Remembering that it was not only her hair that changed, his eyes flicked down to her shoulders and further down her back to assess her outfit. It was not the first time he had seen her dressed in a similar style, but it seemed more fashionable than for a casual outing. Given what the day was, the idea that she might have dressed _for_ someone passed through his mind, and that was quickly followed by the question, “ _For whom?_ ” But upon feeling that strange, bitter weight of unease drop in his stomach, he cast it aside. What she did was of no concern to him.

Or so he kept telling himself.

It was not until he had brushed away a large piece of cobweb did his fingers falter to a sudden stop, his thoughts wavering. At his fingertips was the yellow hair ribbon, the lace shimmering in the small bit of moonlight that filtered through the trees. Slowly he brushed it, as if to clean it, but there was an odd tenderness to it, one that carried to his eyes as he leaned in a little closer towards her.

Feeling his movements slowing and more of her hair free, she was about to break the odd silence until once again his voice paralyzed her.

“…Beatrix.”

He had only said her name, but his voice was so deep and low against her ear that it was more like a quiet murmur, and the way it was slowly drawn out made her stomach churn and her breath catch in her throat. It was all she could do to repress the shiver when his warm breath tickled against her ear as he continued to speak in that same manner.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

She wanted to scream at how unfair it was that he could have such a voice that could hold so much power over her. He was not even touching her, yet he had her completely arrested and rooted in place, unable to move away. And why did it seem as if there was something gentle and soft about it, as if he was trying to coax the answer out of her instead of forcing her like usual? Since when did she find herself enjoying hearing it instead of hating it? Wanting to hear him speak more, to stay as close as they are now?

Since when did it all start?

But she refused to give in so easily, so she kept her back to him, nails digging into the soft leather of her jacket sleeves, and huffed in a bitter voice, “You’re supposed to be the smart genius, can’t you figure it out on your own?”

Biting her lower lip, she knew she was being unreasonable. But right now that was all she could be until her heart and mind finally escaped this storm of emotions that seized her. Even if she protested, even if she still wanted to run, deep down there was a warm feeling of joy that he had chased after her. It made her wonder if she kept running, would he still follow? Or would he give up? If she knew what Eustace would do when he caught her, she would cease such thoughts—assuming he even allowed her a chance to run.

With a small sigh, he quietly answered, “The only thing I can think of is that it has to do with this box.” He reached into his side pack where he had hastily stuffed it and held it out over her shoulder. The corners were a little bent, but it otherwise suffered no further damage. “Is it for Valentine’s?”

Seeing it, Beatrix started and stepped to the side as if to retreat while reaching for it at the same time. Knowing her actions were contradictory, she faltered and eventually clenched her hands into fists to withdraw them, ducking her head as she finally moved away from him.

“So what if it is?”

“Beatrix.” His voice hardened as he grew tired of her evasive answers and stepped towards her, not allowing her to create distance between them. “Nothing you’ve done or said has made any sense.”

“Maybe I’m just that kind of person.” Even as she answered she knew that made no sense, either. But seeing the box only stirred up all the memories and emotions from earlier in the day and her mouth moved faster than her brain—and it just kept going.

“It’s just chocolates, okay? I was just going to leave them in your room and then leave, so I was surprised when you came in. That’s why I ran.” _Shut up shut up—_ But despite her internal protests, that dark feeling from before took control. “You didn’t have to chase after me. They don’t mean anything, so just forget about everything. You can even throw them away if you want, you’ll probably just complain about the taste, anyway.”

The moment those words left her mouth, she knew it was all a lie and it stung her heart. Her nails dug so tightly into her arm she could feel them despite the jacket covering her skin. Knowing she had gone too far, she looked up to him to apologize, but her body froze when her eyes met the icy, cold glare. The gray blue eye, usually calm and indifferent, had darkened like the skies of an oncoming storm.

“Just chocolates.”

She flinched when he took a step towards her, but she could only manage a half step before she found herself unable to move. She really needed to apologize, to tell him it was all wrong—

“Something I can just throw away?”

_Bea, you idiot!_ she screamed at herself as he now stood in front of her, the cold aura around them now suffocating. “No—I—” she started to say, but the words died at her lips when saw something change in his expression.

For a brief moment, she thought something different flicker in his eyes. It was obvious he was angry, but when his eye narrowed at her, for a moment the dark storm gave way to something more…pained. No, hurt? It was hard to believe, but the thought seized her heart and it twisted in guilt.

“…Eus—”

“Then I refuse.”

The box shoved into her hands, Beatrix could only stare up at Eustace as a different kind of coldness started to seep in. It started from the tips of her fingertips and spread down her palms and arms, everything becoming numb. She could only watch as he gave her one last look before he turned as if to leave.

“I have no use for meaningless trash.”

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

_I have no use for meaningless trash._

Was he just talking about the chocolates? Or…was there a hidden meaning to his words? Had she been rejected before she could even sort out her feelings? Of course she knew she was the reason for his anger, why he was so frustrated with her. She was the one who told him they were meaningless and could be thrown away. She knew if she had just let go of her pride and told the truth from the start, they would be having a different conversation. If she had been more mature and more confident in herself like she was in battle, she would not have run away and faced him properly. It was supposed to be simple, yet somehow everything had turned into this stupid mess. With how she had behaved, she would not be surprised if he really did not want anything to do with her after this. It would be better if she just ended everything here.

Yet as the hot tears stung the corners of her eyes and threatened to fall, her fingers clenched the box before suddenly releasing it, the object hurtling through the air at the retreating back before hitting him in the back of the head and clattering to the ground as she screamed, “ _You jerkface **asshole**!!!_”

She would regret everything that was about to transpire, but like before, she was acting with very little thought of the consequences. However, this time she was honest and no longer hid her true feelings. Not waiting for the erune to stop and turn around, she continued to shout after him.

“I know I didn’t help, but is that really how you treat someone!? Were you really planning to just leave me here after that!? Those words hurt, you know!!”

Slowly a hand reached down to pick up the box, Eustace lifting it up to hold in one hand as he watched and listened to Beatrix with a cool, unreadable gaze.

“You think you’re so cool with your loner attitude like you don’t care about anything, but it’s infuriating! Always doing whatever you wanted— You say I don’t make any sense and—okay, sometimes it’s true, but the same can be said about you!! Do you care about us or what?? Are we just partners and that’s it or do you actually see us as friends!? Sometimes I think we’re close but then you shove up this giant ass wall and shut me out!”

He took one step back towards her.

“And then you do weird things like buy me something just because I liked it without any thought to how I might feel about it, and it’s like, did you just do it on a whim or was it just because it was Christmas or did you actually want to, or-or—”

Her words were broken by choked sobs as she fought to get everything out.

“And you still kept that silly keychain and even though you said you hated them, you still ate all of that stupidly sweet cake and pretended you were fine—I know you later had to get stomach medicine, Zeta told me! That’s why I tried really hard to make these better and to your liking, but—”

With one hand still holding the box, the other slowly wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She stiffened at first, but she buried her face into the warmth of his chest, fingers clutching against the fabric of his shirt as she continued to cry everything out, her voice wavering and cracking between high and low pitches.

“And this—! When you do _this!!_ You act so cold all the time, but I know you’re a nice guy and care about people, that you worry about us and do your best to protect us! But you never let us in or tell us anything…tell _me_ anything and it’s so infuriating! So I just—I wanted to be the one to make you smile for once and notice me because I like you and it’s really frustrating to admit it but I do, okay!? I don’t know why, but I like you, I really, really like yo—!?”

Rough lips sealed hers, finally stopping her seemingly endless downpour of emotions. She did not know when, but at some point, his hand had brushed up against the side of her face, tilting her chin up before pulling back so that he could lean down and silence her. Her first instinct was to protest, palms pushing against his chest with muffled sobs as she tried to draw back, but his other arm encircled her and his mouth pressed harder against hers, biting her lower lip. Her resistance already weak, her hands clenched his shirt before throwing themselves up to wrap around his neck, returning the kiss in fevered desperation. As if in response, the hand at her chin slipped past to behind her head, cradling her as his hold around her tightened.

When they finally breached for air, Eustace stared down at Beatrix’s flushed face and was a little surprised at his own heavy pants and accelerated pounding in his ears. After gulping down a few calming breaths, he took one last deep inhale before lowering his face back down to lightly rest his lips against her forehead, an action that surprised her. She had closed her eyes in anticipation of another kiss, but not this. The mistake made her stomach flop in embarrassment, but it stilled when she heard his quiet voice.

“…I’m sorry.” He released the breath he had been holding and sighed as he closed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I was frustrated.”

She remained silent for a moment, her hands lowering to a more comfortable height to lightly grasp his shirt once more. “…I know…it’s my fault—”

“No, it’s not. Not entirely.”

Brows wrinkling in confusion, she pulled back just enough to look up at him and was surprised to see the same expression she caught earlier. However, without the anger clouding over it, she could clearly see the pained conflict that waged in his gaze as he stared down at her.

Pursing his lips, he hesitated before continuing. “I knew you were lying.”

“Huh?”

“That it didn’t mean anything—the chocolates. I had been told you stayed up working on them, so I knew that much. I was surprised to find you in my room, but I didn’t care about that. It was seeing you upset.” His expression shifted to something more brooding as he continued. “When you ran away and then refused to tell me the truth…I grew frustrated. I didn’t like how you were blocking me out, especially since I knew it involved me.” He almost felt childish admitting this. “But even before that, I was feeling strange.”

“Strange?”

Eustace was silent for several long seconds before he sighed. “…Jealous.”

“Huh—!?” Her eyes widened in shock at hearing this. “What—wait, you? Jealous!?” She could not believe she heard that word come out of his mouth and involuntarily stepped back. “Why??”

Already feeling that bubble of irritation and embarrassment forming upon seeing her reaction, Eustace released his hold on her and ran a hand through his hair. “Forget it.”

“Eustace! Come on, what did we just say about blocking each other!?” Immediately she stepped back to him, but this time she wore a smile. Guessing at what he was feeling, she tried to relent a little. “…Please?”

He side-eyed her for a moment before he answered, “What’s this about you getting drunk off chocolates?”

Immediately her playful attitude fell as she paled. “You—you heard about that?? From who!?”

“Cassius.”

“Wha— What did he tell you…?”

Eyes narrowing, he leaned back towards her. “You apparently have a thing for hands and hair, cling to others, and rub yourself all over the—”

“ _Gyaaagh, stop stop!!_ ” she screamed as she shoved one palm against his mouth, the other pressed over the hand as if trying to reinforce the seal. “This is worse than what Zeta told me! Aaah, how am I supposed to face Cassius, now!? I— _hiyaaa!!_ ”

She released another scream, only this time it was accompanied with a hot flush as she drew back her hands. However, only one managed to escape while the other was caught by Eustace, his grip on her wrist firm as his lips remained pressed against her palm. She had not noticed it at the time, but the moment she mentioned Cassius, Eustace’s eyes had narrowed into a steely glare before he licked her palm. The sudden sensation of feeling his tongue and teeth against her skin surprised Beatrix, but it was the strange tingle she felt from the pit of her stomach that bothered her most. That strange feeling only deepened as she was once again caught in his heated gaze, unable to move.

“Don’t.”

“D-Don’t what?” she barely managed to stammer, her voice strained as she tried to not let the way his breath and lips tickle her palm affect her anymore than it already had.

“Don’t meet with him.”

“Ah…” She now realized what Eustace meant by being jealous. It was strange to hear those words and figure out the meaning, and she wanted to tell him there was nothing between them. Besides, she had told him her feelings and they shared a kiss—what was there to be jealous over now? Yet before she could say anything more, he was once against kissing the palm of her hand and his lips were traveling down to her wrist. Feeling his teeth grazing against the sensitive skin and lightly nipping at it, she jumped, once again trying to pull her hand away. “Wa…wait, Eustace—! What are—”

“Marking.”

“What are you, a dog!?” The words exploded from her mouth before she could stop them, but Eustace only stared at her with his usual cool gaze before the corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

“Woof.” Seeing her exasperated look, the light smile that had started to form widened a little more into a smirk. “I’m joking.” He then lowered her hand, leaned in, and murmured in a low a voice near her ear, “I’d leave them where only you could see them.”

It was at this moment that Beatrix discovered a side of Eustace she never expected—and she was not sure if the shiver that flew up her spine as she continued to be ensnared by his gaze was from fear…or restless anticipation.

* * *

“…Eustace, wait—! Do we have to do this out here!?”

“If you hadn’t run away, we could have done it in my room.”

“Don’t say it like that!! Ugh, can’t we at least go back to town?”

“Too noisy.”

“But what about monsters…”

“We’re close enough to town that it shouldn’t be a problem, and if they approach, I’ll take care of them. I’ve probably scared off the real pests, anyway.”

“Huh?”

“Not important.”

Beatrix momentarily thought of the random shot he fired once while they had been walking before letting out an exasperated sigh and stared helplessly up at Eustace’s hardened face. With the way he kept staring at her with such deep intent, she knew he was not going to give in. But if she had to be honest, the place they were in now was not so bad, a little romantic, even.

After finally pushing his face away and reconciling, Eustace had led her to a place near the creek that ran just outside of town. Although it was not a full moon, the moonlight was enough to light their way, adding to the ambience of the night. Nestled in a small grove of trees with winter wildflowers blooming around them, the two sat side by side beneath the largest tree. They were using his cloak as an impromptu blanket, and while Beatrix felt a little bad about it, she also appreciated not having to sit on cold, possibly damp grass, especially with her skirt. She would just have to clean it herself later.

The faint ripple of water filled the silence, with the occasional chirps of crickets, croak of a toad, or hoot of an owl chiming in. Because she was normally running around preoccupied with her own things, Beatrix never paid much attention to these sounds. Now she understood why Eustace always left the ship or went off somewhere else whenever he had time to himself. It was not just _silence_ he sought after. It was this—this ambience of natural peace.

Unfortunately, her own personal peace was being disturbed when she felt him shift closer towards her, that gaze never leaving her. _What is with this silent oppression—!!_

“Okay, okay!” she groaned, unable to resist any longer. Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath to prepare herself. She still could not believe how demanding he was being about this, but after everything she put them through, perhaps it was only fair to give him this much. So after firming up her resolve, she gripped the box in her hands and looked back up to the man waiting for her. Already she could feel that precious resolve tremble and being to crumble, but before it could disappear completely, she thrust out the box, almost hitting him in the chest by her sudden action.

“The…these are for you. They’re made from dark chocolate and even Zeta told me they tasted fine, so they should be normal! Ha-Happy Valentine’s!!”

Eustace stared at her with slightly raised brows, noting how her hands trembled and the way she averted her eyes. Her face was flushed scarlet, and he briefly wondered how this would have gone if things had been different. Would he have noticed anything about her feelings? His own? Or would he have remained oblivious? But such thoughts did not matter, and as he thought how much she looked like a small little rabbit, the corner of his mouth twitched upward slightly before he finally responded.

“…Not cute.”

“ _What?_ ”

Seeing her finally look at him with such wide, bewildered eyes made, that faint smile widened a little more. “That delivery. I could barely understand it, so it wasn’t cute at all.” Of course, this was a lie. For some reason he found her flustered state charming and wanted to tease her further.

“I’m not trying—!!”

“But I’ll accept it, so thanks.”

As he took the box away from her numbed hands, a small light of amusement glimmered in his eye as he watched her open and close her mouth several times. It was like watching a little fish.

Should he stop it?

But just as he entertained the idea, she reached out to punch him in the arm. Although it did not hurt too badly, he still winced a little.

“What kind of answer is that!? It’s because you made me do it this way—here, give it back, I’ll show you ‘cute’—!"

He held up the box as she tried to grab it, holding it high above his head. In her attempt to reach it, she moved forward, one hand going to his shoulder as if to prop her up while one knee went between his legs. Just as she pressed her body up against him, her fingertips brushing against the bottom of the box, she suddenly felt warm breath followed by the light brush of lips against the base of her neck, near her clavicle.

“…………Beatrix.”

Instantly she froze and for several long seconds all she could feel was that warm breath against her skin. At first it remained in place before she could feel it drift upward before disappearing to the side. When she finally chanced a glance down, she could see he had averted his gaze, but from her angle his hair covered any expression he had. From how stiff his shoulder felt under her hand, she wanted to believe he was feeling as flustered as she was. She looked to his ears since she had a clear view, but they, too, yielded nothing.

…Except when she let out an inadvertent breath against them. It was subtle, but she could see them twitch and feel his shoulder tense and jolt a little. Although her heart was still pounding, the temptation was too great, and she blew a gentle breath into the ear closest to her. Again it twitched, flicking back a little in a way so similar to a dog’s, and she could feel him continue to remain rigid. A small bubble of reckless delight started to form, and she could not help but grin to herself a bit. She knew she was treading dangerous waters, but it was rare that she could have an advantage like this and she wanted to try just one more thing.

“…Eustace.”

It was just a soft little murmur, one that was not quite a whisper and had a bit of a playful lilt to it. It was almost as if it was a delayed answer to his earlier warning. Although he remained silent, she could feel his chest rise and caught that small intake of breath. Not wanting to push her luck, she bit her lower lip to stop herself from saying anything more. But his ears were just too tempting, and he had yet to warn or push her way, so she lowered the hand that had been reaching for the box. Slowly her fingertips hovered over the tip of his ear before they lightly brushed against them. Immediately her eyes lit up at how soft they felt, and she pressed down a little more firmly as she started to pet his ear in long, gentle downward strokes. At first his body tensed again, but she could feel his shoulder loosen a bit as she continued. By then the arm holding the box had lowered and was resting on the ground.

“So soft…” she whispered, forgetting how close her mouth was to his ear. Again it twitched, and this time she felt him shift more noticeably.

“………Enjoying yourself?” His words were spoken in a low voice, but there was a sharpness to it that made her stop, her body stilling.

His head tilted back, breaking the contact, and when she looked down to meet his intense gaze that only seemed to be sharpened by the shadows cast from the moonlight filtering through the branches above them, Beatrix finally remembered herself. Her face flushed scarlet, the hand at his ear shot straight up into the air as she tried to lean back and scramble away. The hand at his shoulder pushed back for leverage, but a strong arm caught her and pulled her back towards him. Since she had been partially on her knees, she lost her balance and fell forward. Although she managed to stop herself from faceplanting into his chest by thrusting her arm out to brace against the tree behind him, she was now caught staring at his face which was now mere inches away from hers.

She would have preferred his chest.

Again she tried to pull away, drawing back her arm to place it between them instead, and again she felt his arm against her back, stopping her. However, this time he did not try to pull her to him, instead just staring down at her as if watching to see what she would do next. She really wanted to punch that amused look and make that glint in his eye go away.

“Now who’s the one enjoying himself,” she grumbled as she turned her face away, wishing her face was not as red or hot as it was.

“I think I’m the one being taken advantage of.”

“I—!!” She wanted to retort but given how she had just indulged herself in petting his ear, she had no excuse. So she bit her lip and kept her face turned away.

Since she was looking away, Beatrix did not notice the wry grin Eustace was wearing as he watched her. He had been startled at first when she chased after the box, knowing she would retaliate in some way, but not like how it actually ended up. At the time he had been sorely tempted to actually go through with his earlier “marking” threat, but he had realized that it was a rash, impulsive desire that he should not act on. The swirls of thoughts and inclinations he now had were something he still had to fully process himself. After all, he only realized how he felt just a few hours ago, and he still was not sure if he should actually be going through with it.

But it was hard to deny that he was enjoying himself and felt strange sweet contentment being with her like this. It was as if his perspective of her had been a curtain he had ignored and left untouched, and now it was being pulled back. What he had not realized was that he had long been approaching that curtain to peek through it and pull it back a little more each time, allowing more of that bright bit of sun to seep in until he at last pulled it all the way back to see what that window had to offer. Yet, did he want it to remain open? Or should he close it before it was too late?

His thoughts were broken when she finally spoke up again.

“Are…you sensitive about your ears? I know you let Gran and Lyria pet them, but…” Beatrix started to fidget as she first glanced at him and then up to his ears. He could easily read the bit of yearning in her eyes and again he could not help but be amused.

“A bit late to ask about that now, isn’t it?”

“Eustace!”

He cracked a small smile before it disappeared as he answered. “Not really, no more than anyone else. But anyone would feel strange if someone were to suddenly whisper into their ear.” He then leaned in close to hers and murmured in a low voice, “Like this.”

That little smile returned as he watched her face redden as it instantly jerked away, but not too far. Instead she moved a hand up to cover it, as if to shield it from further attacks.

“Okay, okay, I get it, I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine. If you want to pet my ears, I don’t mind it, either.”

She looked up at him with slight wary eyes, but there was also a hint of eager hope in them. “Really?”

“Mm,” he hummed in response with a slight nod. It was true that he did not mind it—in fact he found it rather relaxing. Her touch was also different compared to Gran or Lyria. For them it was like a fun novelty, but with Beatrix…there was some of that, but he found himself liking her touch more. “It’s not the first time, anyway.”

“…Huh? What!? I don’t remember touching them before!”

“You were drunk.”

“ _What!?_ ”

“So don’t get weird about it.”

“Why do you always—!!”

She wanted to press more about what he was referencing to because she had no memory of it at all. But she could not feel too exasperated because it was then that she heard a sound from him that she hardly ever heard before. It was small and more like a breathy chuckle, but it was still a laugh. Not one of those condescending ones, but a genuine one filled with mirth. A strange warmth filled her chest, and while she did not like how it was at her expense, she did like hearing it all the same, even more when she was the reason for it. She still preferred that he did not tease her so much, and the fact that he _could_ tease her like that was something she still found a bit shocking. Had he always had this side to him? What else was she going to find? But she could not find herself to dislike it.

Glancing away, she spotted the box that had been left to the side and reached over to pick it up. “Aren’t you going to try these?” They somehow kept getting distracted from the main objective, which seemed strange with Eustace of all people.

He looked at the box, studying it for a moment before his eyes flicked over to her. Slowly he answered with, “Do you want to feed them to me?”

Beatrix stared at him before she felt her face flush again and she sincerely began to wonder if her face will ever return to its normal color after the night was over. _How can he say those lines with that straight face of his!? Is he a natural flirt?? A playboy!? No one would believe me if I told them this, argh—!!_

As she once again descended into mental turmoil, Eustace reached out to undo the ribbons tying the box, but his fingers stopped before the knot. In the dim moonlight it was a little difficult to discern the colors, but he remembered how they were when he first saw them: silver blue, dark gold, reddish brown, and dark blue. At the time he had been too distracted by the chaos and the tear stains to pay much attention, but now as he stared at them, he was starting to realize that these were not randomly chosen. A faint smile playing at his lips, he slowly murmured as he untied the bow, each one falling loosely to the side.

“No meaning, huh.”

Pulled out from her mental swearing at the man, Beatrix looked up to find the ribbons already undone, Eustace collecting them in his hand to hold them out to her. After a moment of puzzling over what he was implying, her eyes widened and her cheeks once again flushed, but it was just a faint shade of pink this time. Slowly reaching out to take the ribbons, she gave a small laugh. “Ah…so you noticed?” Her first instinct was to brush it off, but she managed to restrain herself and gently fingered the ends of the silken fabric. “It was hard picking out the right ones, but I liked how they looked together.” Her voice got a little smaller and that faint pink deepened, but she managed to keep mostly calm.

“…Mm.” A low hum as he eyed the ribbons in her hands. “Is that why you stayed up so late?”

_Every time I think he’s going to be sweet and then he does this!!_ Wondering if her heart was going to be able to take anymore of this, she sighed in frustration and popped the lid off and picked up one of the chocolates. “Yes, I did! I wanted it to look perfect and cute and fancy and impress you, okay!? Why do you always have to be so—so—!! Here, just eat it!!” With a final shout, she shoved a chocolate truffle to his mouth, pressing it hard against his lips.

His first instinct was to question how something could be “cute” and “fancy” at the same time, but he had a chocolate truffle pushing against his mouth. A brow raised, he stared at her flushed face before he opened his mouth to take the chocolate. As he did, because she was still pushing it against him, her fingertips brushed against his lips and tongue. A strange, electric jolt shot through her hand and she hastily drew it back, desperately trying to keep her heart from bursting out of her chest and quell that strange twist in her abdomen. It did not help that he clearly noticed, his gaze on her sharp and carrying a small heat that made her look away. No matter how many seconds passed, her fingertips continued to burn, and she could not find a way to cool them, or herself, down as she waited for his judgment.

Since he was in no rush, Eustace took his time to first taste and then enjoy the truffle. As she promised, it was not overly sweet, and he could clearly taste the bitterness of the dark chocolate. It balanced well with the light sweetness of the powdered sugar coating, and he thought he could also taste a hint of cinnamon. He was a little surprised by it, but pleasantly so. Cinnamon was something he liked to add as his own type of sweetener if he had the option, particularly in hot chocolate or bread. So there was a soft light in his eye as he finished it off, actually wanting to savor it a little but also curious as to how the others might taste.

Seeing her expectant face waiting for his judgment, he debated for a moment on whether he should tease her or not, but he decided to go easy on her this time. With a look of satisfaction, he gave her a light smile. “It’s good.”

At first her face lit up at hearing those two words, a soft sparkle in her eyes as her lips widened into a relieved and happy smile. But then her fine, little brows wrinkled as that light faded a bit. “Wait, that’s it? Just, ‘it’s good,’ and nothing else?”

“What were you expecting?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘good’ if you don’t like it,” she frowned and leaned up slightly as if to press him into answering her. “So? …Did you?”

Any thought of drawing out his answer faded with that intense yet nervous stare, and he gave her a small hum of affirmation, his eyes softening. “Mm…I liked it.”

This time her reaction was a bit exaggerated, at least in his mind. She was still kneeling, so she sat back onto her heels and pumped a fist into the air in victory. “Yes! Hah, I knew I could do it! Now I’ll have you praise me for making the best chocolates in the skydoms—”

“Not happening.”

“You could be a little more supportive!!”

Knowing Beatrix, she really would put her in all into making the best chocolates and would not rest until she did. Some might find it touching, but Eustace could only think of it as a bother. “Your chocolates are fine as they are. Even if they’re too sweet, I’ll still eat them.”

“…What? Why? You don’t have to if you don’t like them, you know! It won’t hurt my feelings!” Well, maybe a little, but she would understand since he would clearly state why he did not like something to her.

Listening to her words, Eustace heard Vaseraga’s voice echo behind them.

_“Did you eat all of it?”_

_“Mm.”_

_“You don’t have to, you know. I’m sure she’d understand and would be fine with you just trying it.”_

At the time, he had only quietly responded that he did not mind it. While that was still true, he had a different reason now, one that reflected his true sentiments on the matter. So as he looked at her, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly in a light smile.

“It’s fine since they’re yours.”

They stayed out there for some time, their back and forth continuing as Eustace slowly ate the chocolates one by one. As he did, she would point out which ones had different flavored fillings. They were all fundamentally dark chocolate, but she added some different flavors such as cherry, raspberry, strawberry, hazelnut—whatever she thought he would like based off what she remembered from the foods he ate.

“…You’ve been watching me for that long, huh.”

“—That’s not what I meant and you know it!!”

“Hm…well, it’s fine. I’ve had to watch you for a while, too.”

“…—!!!”

Although he still easily flustered her, Beatrix was starting to get more used to the erune’s teasing. Her attempts to retaliate usually ended in failure and to her detriment, but she vowed she would get him back if not tonight then one day. Thinking of a prospective “future,” however, sent a small flurry of butterflies through her stomach. If she had to be honest, she still could not believe they were together like this at all. It all seemed to happen so fast, yet she could not find herself disliking the development between them. It was why she had yet to move away from sitting between his legs, his propped up knee acting as a back support as she leaned against it. Her legs were dying from kneeling for so long and she was in the wrong boots for it, so she eventually shifted to having them bent over his stretched out leg, allowing her a more relaxed and comfortable position. Sitting sideways against him like this, it also allowed her to keep some distance from him while still remaining close.

Looking at the remaining chocolates, she pointed out a type he had yet to try. “Ah, this is the one with some alcohol. I have two types in there, bourbon and whiskey. I wasn’t really sure which one you’d like more, so I thought to do both.”

Eustace was reaching into the box to pick out the one she pointed out, but the moment he heard “alcohol,” his fingers twitched, and his eyes flicked over to her. “…Alcohol? Were these the ones you got drunk off of?”

“…Do you really have to bring that up all the time?” she whined. “It wasn’t just the chocolates, I also tried it from the bottle…”

“You’ve never had strong alcohol before,” he frowned at her. “How much did you have?”

“It was just a few sips—it was way too strong and bitter tasting for me,” she shuddered, as if remembering what she felt at the time. “I can’t believe you like it.”

“I don’t have it that often…” he sighed as he picked up the chocolate truffle. “I’ve heard that those who are lightweight like you can still get drunk off foods that have alcohol in them…I just never thought it was true. Don’t have so many from now on.”

Her mouth fell open upon hearing him lecture her and actually forbidding her from eating certain foods. “Hey, you can’t order me what to do!”

To that he just narrowed his eyes. “I wasn’t.” …Mostly. It was a _suggestion_ , but he really did want her to refrain herself in the future. The idea of her getting in a similar situation as the night before really did not sit well with him.

“Whatever, you still can’t stop me,” she huffed, and after eying on the chocolate in his hand, she reached out snatched it from him.

Surprised by her action, he could only stare before he frowned. “Beatrix.”

She just smiled, holding the chocolate confection between two fingers and waved it in front of his face before popping into her mouth. Really, she had no idea why he was being so fussy—it was just one, and the alcohol in these were not _that_ much. Truthfully, even Eustace knew that. She did not have a high tolerance, but enough to handle one chocolate. So he _could_ let her have this one.

Could.

However, since this was her acting out in defiance and was actually taunting him with that smug look of hers, eyes glistening in the darkness, it was only natural that he felt the need to retaliate. That was how their relationship even started—she acted out, he had to catch and rein her in. Thus, just as she started to bite into the chocolate, he set the box down, took one of her hands into his own to hold it down against the ground, reached out with the other to lightly grasp her chin, and as her eyes widened in shock at the heated gaze, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She was just about to voice her protest, but that was a mistake. With her mouth already partially open, he took the advantage and slipped his tongue through. Feeling it slide against her own, another sound of protest escaped from her throat and she tried to pull back, but just like before he held her in place.

At first his movements were not too aggressive—although he was stealing her taste with the forced kiss, his main objective was taking the chocolate away. She could feel the smirk as he started to pull back, the chocolate now in his control. But Beatrix was not going to let him have it—or her—so easily. After recovering from the initial shock, her free hand reached out and gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him to her as her tongue pushed back against his. The taste of chocolate and bourbon mixed between them as they fought, her own tongue reaching out into his mouth to steal more of his taste before he dominated her again.

Eventually the war over the chocolate was forgotten, the confection devoured between the two and now each more interested in the other’s taste. The soft indignant sounds and growls of protest changed to gasps, pants, and moans as they both refused to give in to the other. At some point Eustace had pushed Beatrix down, and both her arms were encircled around his neck, a hand grasping through his hair. Several times they had to break for air only one to pull the other back, hungry for that dark, sweet taste born between them. Hands roamed, Beatrix finding skin first from his exposed back before rougher hands grabbed at her bare side and thigh. It was not until she felt that lower hand pushing her leg up and sliding dangerously towards her did she finally break away with a haggard gasp.

But any voice of protest was strangled into a moan when his mouth went to her neck, his teeth already grazing against the soft skin, biting it. She felt that strange tightness around the pit of her stomach, and she was embarrassed that she wanted to feel more of it. To feel the full weight of his body on her, to press her hips against his. That was how quickly intoxicating this was becoming, each passing second more intense than the last.

But she also knew this was off, so she struggled desperately to reach him. “… _A-ah_ …Eu…Eustace…wait—!”

Her ears burned at hearing her own voice, how high, breathless, and almost needy it sounded, and it seemed that it affected him, too. For a moment his body went rigid, and although he did stop his movements, she could still feel his hot breath against her neck, hear the loose pants that matched her own. Every place he had kissed and touched still burned and taking in a shaky breath, she tried her best to control her voice as she continued to speak.

“This…we…” She _really_ did not want to stop. She wanted to keep going with whatever _this_ was, to see where it went. Yet even she knew how reckless that was and the fact that Eustace apparently lost himself to _this_ was also a little alarming. She did not know what to expect from a relationship with him, or that she would even have one at all. But getting carried away on the first night was probably not the best idea, no matter how good it felt in the moment. Especially since she realized one important thing.

“…Eustace… Do you like me?”

Her voice sounded so small, an unknown fear making it waver in the end. A fear that started to grow when his breath stopped and he looked up at her. There was a blank look in his eye, as if all the previous heat had been instantly cooled and he was now at a loss.

Unfortunately, that was exactly how he was feeling. The moment she asked that question, his mind went blank and he could not immediately answer. Like her, Eustace had completely fallen into the heated fervor that had sparked between them. Regardless of how he thought or felt, that instinctive desire for more kicked in and he acted on it. Instead of considering the consequences or thinking it through, he just rushed in without thinking, something he rarely did. And now it was Beatrix who was trying to sort them out, the one who was trying to cool his head. How did their roles get reversed like this?

And how did he really feel about her?

She was sweet. So very sweet. The longer he was with her the more he felt he wanted to hold onto her. Clearly, there was an attraction to her, but even if he knew _about_ love, it had been so long for him to personally feel it, to grasp it in his hand. He had been detached from others for too long and his heart had only begun to thaw from that frozen cage of so many years. To finally allow himself to care about others. But were the feelings he had the same as hers? Even if they were, that question of whether they _should_ be still haunted him.

Seeing that fear growing in her eyes, a sense of bitterness swelled deep within his chest and reflected in his own. Unable to look at her directly, he averted his gaze and quietly answered the truth.

“…I don’t know.”

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

It was painful, suffocating even. To watch the change of emotions flicker across the man she had come to grow feelings for become so pained with conflict, and then to hear those words.

_I don’t know._

Her heart fell as if cast down into the abyss down to the earth below, and the warmth that had once surrounded them vanished into frost. As if he had knocked the air out of her, she found it difficult to breathe. Her only lifeline was the fact was that it was not a flat-out rejection. He had yet to pull away from her, and the way he seemed to be in turmoil also proved that it was not over. Not until he fully denied her would she give up.

Taking one trembling breath, she lowered one hand to slowly tread her fingers through his soft, gray white hair. Although his own breath shook, his eyes closed at her touch and he leaned a little towards it. Even as conflicted as he was, he still found himself yearning for it.

Seeing this gave Beatrix a little more courage. “…Hey…tell me. You don’t… You’re not playing with me, right?”

“No.” His answer was immediate and came with a hard shake of his head.

“So you don’t dislike me, right?”

“…No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” When he remained silent, she drew up more of her courage and gently turned his face to hers. Her heart ached when she saw that pained expression had deepened. “Eustace…”

He continued to remain in silence for several long seconds before he finally sighed and lowered his head. “This is…complicated.”

“How?”

“Beatrix, you know what we do, the dangers we face in our line of work.” As he spoke, the softness in his voice hardened as he finally looked at her. “Relationships hardly ever work out and they only cause more grief.”

Her eyes widened at his reasons, and for a moment she felt a little chastised. She did not even consider any of that—of course she was not really considering her feelings much to begin with, but even if she had, she knew she would have continued on the same path. Even so, she tried to rebuke him.

“Well…yeah, but we always make it out fine. That’s why—”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

The coldness in his words was like dumping cold water on her heart, as if trying to extinguish the fire that had been lit. She knew he had a point, that what he was saying was logically true, but rather than dousing her, it only pissed her off and made that fire roar.

“What’s with that…are you saying I’m not strong enough!?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then what—”

“I don’t know if I am.”

Again, his words chilled her, but this time it was because she never imagined he would ever say something like that. Mr. Elite Soldier, the Golden Child of the Society, the one who was always handed the tougher missions and hardly ever failed. The one capable of inflicting massive damage to a large area of enemies. The one they relied on for that backup power.

“I don’t…understand,” she started, her mind spinning at this unexpected declaration of weakness. “You’re strong—stronger than me and the others. You get more solo missions than the rest of us and even though you’re strongest with a gun, you can still fight with a blade and wield two weapons at once. You always keep a cool head and manage no matter how tough the situation is.” Without meaning to, Beatrix ended up listing off a few of the things she secretly admired about him, even if it also infuriated her at times at just how _good_ he was at everything. But most of all— “You always work hard, probably harder than all of us. So…why…?”

She knew he did not get to where he was because of his attitude or that he was just naturally gifted—it was because of his work ethic and standards he set for himself and others. He was also older, so he had the benefit of experience under his belt as well. She was sure in the beginning he made mistakes, but then learned from them to become as skilled as he was. She also knew he had the confidence to carry him through whatever was thrown at him. So to see him actually wavering in front of her, to appear so vulnerable—it was painful.

Eustace only remained silent as she revealed what she thought of him. It was a little surprising, and it did spark a little happiness, but in the end, he only shook his head.

“I mean emotionally.”

“…Huh?”

Again, he hesitated as he tried to decide how to answer her. It was difficult when he himself was not sure how to voice his issues. “…You know how I used to be. Your complaints about my personality before weren’t unfounded. I’m well aware that I kept myself distant from others—it was easier to handle things that way.”

At first Beatrix was confused and was about to question, but then she remembered something she had heard about it. Although she did not know the details, she knew that Eustace was in the Society because of something that happened in his past that involved the Foe. She had once thought he was coldhearted because he was an arrogant, self-conceited prick who looked down on others, but she realized that was not the case after she worked with him for a while. What she did not realize, however, was that the reason for his attitude had a more painful reason. She had only looked at him at what she could see, evaluating him by his skills. Now that she was finally putting it all together, her eyes widened a little and she faltered, feeling ashamed that she only never really thought about this before.

“O-Oh… I think I get it.” It was her way to signal to him that he did not have to go into further detail, and it was one he caught.

Appreciative of the gesture, he reached up to brush back a few strands of her hair. His touch was as gentle and tender as his heart, but there were still many walls guarding it, and for good reason. “Beatrix… I care about you. I know that for certain. But I don’t know how deep that feeling goes, and I don’t want to leave you expecting something that might not happen. I also don’t want my judgment to be clouded whenever you’re involved.”

“Is that even possible?” Beatrix tried to gently joke, but she could somewhat understand what he was trying to tell her.

“…Even now I feel like doing questionable things to you.”

“I swear, you—! You don’t have to be so direct about it!!” She knew he was terrible about being subtle, but he could at least try every once in a while! But then his words registered something in her mind, and she glanced up at him with a slight flush. “So…that means you see me as a woman, right?”

“I would think that obvious,” he answered in a flat tone before he added, “However, I was only consciously aware about it since tonight. I can’t say I viewed you as one before.”

“Can I slap you?”

She groaned at the confused tilt of his head. Why did her heart have to keep being pulled one way and then another by this man? Why did she even like him!? Of course, one glance was enough to give at least one reason. She also really did not have much room to talk since she, too, had only looked at Eustace as a colleague for a long while. But she could at least safely admit that she had begun to notice him as more than that longer than tonight!

“You had to have noticed _something_ about me before, right? Like…Christmas…or something…” she ended up mumbling.

Eustace was silent for a while as he thought back to that night, and his eyes flicked to the hair ribbon that was barely staying in place now. After another beat, he finally nodded. “…I suppose. Probably even a little before then.”

“Really?”

Seeing her bright face, he could only scowl. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“It—” She scrambled for a second before blurting, “It helps my own pride, okay!”

“Pride…” He just sighed before looking back at her, still hesitant. “That’s not what I really meant, though. When we’re out fighting, I keep everything in check and don’t prioritize anyone over the other outside of necessity. It reduces the chances of mistakes taken. But if you’re involved… I don’t want my attention diverted.”

She stared at him for a long moment before she let out a small laugh. “What, is that all? I think you’re overthinking things.” When he only looked at her with an arched brow, she continued. “This is _you_ we’re talking about. If you haven’t wavered before, I don’t see why you will now. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with feelingly strongly towards someone. If anything, it could be another strength for you, not a weakness. You don’t want to see me hurt, so you’ll work harder to protect me. And I don’t want you to think you _have_ to protect me, so I’ll train harder, so you don’t have to worry so much. We always worked on the base of trust, right?”

Beatrix cupped her hands around Eustace’s face, pulling him a little closer to her so that he could look into her eyes. Although she was still nervous about a lot of things and there were times she questioned herself, her confidence in her own abilities never wavered. People would consider it reckless and foolhardy, but right now it was needed.

“You always tell me you have my back—and I trust you. That’s why I can rush out and fight like I do, I know you’ll always be there to cover me. So you need to trust me to do my part, too. And if it’s still hard then…just control your emotions when we’re on a mission, and we’re done you can let loose as a reward. That’s fine, right?”

His eyes widened at her proposition, and it was clear by the determined yet hopeful light in her eyes and reassuring smile that she had no idea what she was implicating with her words. Or perhaps he was the worst one to even read a hidden implication when there clearly was not one. Regardless, her words struck a chord with him, particularly when she told him about her trust in him. It was enough to knock one of those walls down and make him want to take the hand she was holding out to him. To throw back that curtain and let her light pour in, to warm up the lingering cold that remained in his heart. But he still had his fears, and as he stared down at her, feeling those warm palms embracing him, his lips parted to speak.

“…One condition.”

Not expecting such an answer, Beatrix tilted her head a little in confusion. “Okay, what is it?”

“Don’t get hurt.”

She stared at him dumbly. “…Eustace—”

“I’ve suffered enough loss and grief, and I’m doing everything I can so that no one else ever has to experience it themselves. You’ve also suffered as well, and I don’t want either of us to go through that again.”

His words came out so hard and sudden, hearing him reference her own past cooled her and she remained silent.

“That’s why, if you have to take a risk, think it through carefully. I can’t always be there and no matter how strong you are, no matter how much trust I put in you, I will still worry. Injuries are a given, but if something worse happens to you, I can’t guarantee what my actions will be.”

Her heart pounded against her chest after hearing such a fierce declaration, and the deep, intent gaze he held over her only worsened the strange feeling that was growing within her stomach. Instead of the nice flutter of butterflies, it flipped and flopped around like a fish and she had no idea how to respond. No one had ever told her anything like that and with such passion. To have someone think of her so deeply to the point where if something were to happen to her they could possibly breakdown…

It was terrifying.

Especially since this was coming from a man whom she believed could not be shaken.

But at the same time, it made her want to wrap her arms around him and pull her to him, to hold him fast and make those worries disappear. To relish in the feeling that someone could treasure her so deeply. To know she could break through those frozen walls.

With a soft gaze and a light smile, she leaned up to touch her forehead against his. “…You idiot. You know no matter what, I always get out of any situation and that I get stronger the more difficult things get.”

He frowned. “Beatrix—”

It was his turn to have his lips sealed by her own, the kiss soft, warm, and gentle. Before pulling back, she kissed the corner of his mouth and spoke against it. “But I promise.” Now tilting her head so that he could look into her eyes, she smiled. “I’ll be careful and work hard so that you’ll never feel that way. You’ll be able to have your precious peace and quiet with me.”

Although Eustace narrowed his eyes at her and he still felt uneasy about it all, it was hard to deny that deep down he might want this. That he might want to open himself up to her, to take this risk. After all, he had already acknowledged this much—would it not be more prudent to accept it all instead of being half-hearted about it? He was long past the point where he could shut out his emotions, and he doubted they would just end. Not as long as they worked together.

So with a heavy sigh, he finally turned slightly to fall down next to her.

“…Huh?? Eustace, are you okay!?”

“Shut up,” he growled before rolling slightly onto her, an arm draped over her waist as his head rested against the crook of her neck. “Peace and quiet…you’re the one who disturbs it the most.”

“—!?!? We just had a heart-to-heart conversation and now you just complain about me!? And you’re heavy, get off—shouldn’t it be the other way around?!”

“Don’t forget your promise.”

As Beatrix started to shove at his head, her hands stilled before they lightly rested against his hair. “…Mm, I won’t.” As she started to thread her fingers through his hair, her path drifted towards the base of his ear. She hesitated only a moment before she gently started to run a finger around its base before going up and down with light, soothing strokes. “…Does this mean we’re, um…”

“…Is that what you want?”

“I’d rather know than be stuck in uncertainty.”

“…Fair enough.” Eustace closed his eyes and remained silent for a few seconds before he finally answered. “White Day.”

Beatrix stopped petting his ear and glanced down at him. “White Day?”

“I still need some time, so…give me until White Day at the latest. If I decide before then, I’ll let you know.”

“…Ah.” It was hard to hide her disappointment, but after everything he just told her, it made sense. Plus, it might be good for her, too. Even if things felt good right now, it had been a night of ups and downs. So she nodded and resumed stroking his ear. “Okay, that’s fair. I’m hoping for a really good present, either way. And if you do end up rejecting me, it better be _really_ good.” Although she said that as a joke, her voice wavered a bit and he could feel the slight tremor of her breath.

“…Do anything stupid before then and consider us over.”

“Hey! How can we be over if we haven’t even started!? And what do you mean by stupid!?!?”

“So you prioritized our relationship over yourself…”

“I take it back. I don’t like you at all. I was duped by your stupid good looks.”

“And you’re still not cute.”

“Why are you always so infuriating!?”

He did not answer, but there was a light smile as he held back the small chuckle that threatened to escape.

“I know you want to laugh!!”

* * *

By the time they returned to the Grandcypher, it was well past midnight. Before leaving the grove, Eustace had redone her hair to a more presentable manner. He could not replicate the braid, so Beatrix had to settle for the simpler ponytail, but it did not really matter to her. She was going to pull it down once she got back to her room, anyway. She was also wearing Eustace’s cloak, mostly due to his stubborn insistence.

“It’s February, yet you wear that kind of outfit…”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, Mr. Expose My Sides and Back All the Time.”

“I was born in a colder climate; this is nothing to me.”

“Well see if I ever dress up for you ever again!”

“So you admit you dressed up for me.”

They were walking through the town after having a late meal, the streets empty save for a few late night couples taking one last stroll or returning home from their own dinner engagements. There were also several broken-hearted drunkards wandering the streets, so Eustace made sure to keep them in well lit paths and that he blocked her from their line of sight. Beatrix was completely unaware of his actions, instead stammering and trying not to stumble over the cobblestones as once again Eustace managed to rile her up.

“…—!! Th-That! It was Zeta’s idea, okay!!”

“Shifting blame…”

“Argh, okay, fine! I hoped you would notice something, but you never even said anything—”

“I noticed.”

Beatrix stopped and looked up at him, her hands clutching the folds of the cloak that enveloped her before she rushed after him. “…You did?”

“Even in the dim light, I could tell you were wearing something different. I only caught a glance when you ran past, and I stared at your back the whole time I was chasing you.”

It was hardly romantic, yet Beatrix could feel her face flush in embarrassment. “O-Oh…”

“It suits you,” he continued, his eyes staying forward until he glanced over with a light smile. “You look good in that style.”

After that, she stayed silent for the rest of the walk, her scarlet face hidden by the fabric of his cloak.

* * *

It was empty on the Grandcypher’s deck, much to Beatrix’s relief. She was not sure what she would do if people saw her returning so late with Eustace and wearing his cloak. Perhaps most might not think much of it—it was Eustace after all—but if it were Zeta or even Cassius… Where was everyone, anyway? She half-expected at least Zeta to be waiting…she would not be waiting in her room would she…!?

So lost in her thoughts, she did not realize that Eustace accompanied her all the way to her room until he stopped in front of it. Only then did it hit her that this would be the end and tomorrow would be a new day. It was hard for her to not feel disappointed. Despite the turmoil and heartache, she had enjoyed being with Eustace. It was the first time they really opened up to each other and she felt she was closer to him than she ever had been before. She did not want him to leave just yet. But there was no way she could ask for him to stay, so she swallowed back her feelings and turned to face him. She would see him tomorrow, that was fine enough.

“Um…I know this was a crazy night, but, um. Thanks.”

“…Mm.”

“I hope you enjoy the rest of the chocolates. Next time I’ll make an even better batch!”

“…I told you, you didn’t have to work so hard…” But there was a faint smile. However, as he turned to leave, the mention of chocolates reminded him of something, and he looked back at her. “By the way, you never told me the reason why you ran out of my room, earlier.”

“…Ah…I had hoped you’d forget about that,” she said with some chagrin. “Er…I saw the chocolates on the table. It was a little surprising to see how many you got, but I noticed you had already opened one. They looked really cute and I knew it was stupid, but I started to doubt mine, so…”

Eustace stared at her in disbelief. “…Is that it? They were Lyria’s, you know.”

“—Huh? Lyria??”

“Yeah…she came by before I left, so I tried some.”

“…What…you mean…I was jealous over Lyria…? _Auughh_ …”

As Beatrix groaned and covered her face, Eustace stared at her a little helplessly before stepping towards her. “You idiot. Where’d all that confidence go?”

“Th…this was different! I was starting to think about things and I knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t help compare and think I should have done something like that, too and—”

For the second time that night Eustace shut her up with his mouth, kissing her briefly on the lips. As he pulled away, his tongue lightly traced over her lower lip, and as he spoke there was a low, husky tone to it.

“I like the taste of yours best.”

He then smiled as he she felt her take in a breath. He knew he was being a bit cruel since he had yet to commit anything between them, but he still wanted to let her know. To reassure her so that she would stop having such silly, foolish thoughts—and to be selfish and take one last taste, to savor this moment of bliss of what could be. His gaze catching hers, he murmured softly before kissing her again,

_It’s sweet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 49 pages…almost 26k words… I want to die…
> 
> Anyway, hi, hello, this is my first time publishing a fanfic in…like almost a decade. I’ve started a couple, but this is the one I actually managed to finish (having a deadline helps). This was supposed to a simpler fluff piece, but then words happened and…/gestures. I went ahead and uploaded all the parts instead of spreading it out since it feels a little silly given this is supposed to be for Valentine’s ahaha. This thing could have gone in so many directions, but I thought this might be an interesting take to explore.
> 
> I hope fellow Eustace/Beatrix shippers liked it! Whatever small group of us there is ahaha— But if you did, I have good news for you (sad news for me). This is now a mini-series of sorts, so I plan to write up fuller stories to some of the “events” referenced in the story. I was already planning a “White Day” sequel, but now there will also be Christmas, Birthday, and New Years prequels! And if I think of anything else for this “universe” I’ll throw it in, too. Even though you kind of run into a ship fic presuming some feelings are established/are on the way, I like jumping into the rabbit hole and seeing how the development actually fleshed out, so this will be fun. 
> 
> Also, this fic is not quite finished! I have a few “extra” scenes I want to write up, so they will be added in a little later. Just a small collection of humorous snippets entailing what went on behind the scenes while Eustace and Beatrix were together, as well as a small “epilogue” of sorts. Zeta wants them deets, Ilsa will wanna know, and did Vaseraga have that date!? Let's not forget Cassius's thoughts on all this nonsense. Eustace's reservations will also be more fully explained. This will all probably be uploaded as one part unless I get really crazy about it, aha.
> 
> Finally, I hope I wrote the characters all right. Cassius might be a bit eeeh so I apologize if anyone sounds a little off. But I wanted to include him because…Spaghetti Syndrome… We’ll just, you know, have a happy universe where that didn’t happen (yet)—
> 
> (and how about those Valentine's Day season lines, eh?)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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